Align With Your Desires By Taking The Path Of Least Resistance And Focus On The Joy That Already Is!

“If you have learnt enjoying life without purpose, like a flowing river, you have learnt the art of living.”—Girdhar Joshi

It takes discipline, focus, determination, commitment when you make the choice to take the road least taken or the road least traveled (whatever floats your boat).  The road full of challenges with all its obstacles, rocky bumps, scrapes, delays, might make you think the reward is that much sweeter, so much more deserving, or is it? There is research that suggests that everything ‘takes the path of least resistance’ such as water, electricity, and yes humans.  As humans we have many choices in life, many decisions to make that could forever alter our lives; do we take this path or that? From choosing our academic paths, our career choices, relationships, choices in our everyday environment from diet to what we choose to feed our minds. The question is: When is taking the path of least resistance—a good choice? One that will ease your already hectic and challenge-filled life?

Hello my beautiful souls!  I hope you had a safe, wonderful, and fun-filled summer because you deserve it! As for me, still doing a lot of inner work, always learning; it is what keeps me humble. I learn from all experiences and from everyone I meet. It is wonderful to view life this way—never feeling, “I am more” than anyone. Sure, this pandemic is giving my soul a little beating, and that is because I care so much about the world, the people in it, that of course includes my family and friends. We are all in this together and knowing this makes it a little easier, very humbling to know that we are sharing this pain, this life-altering set-back with all those we have the enormous privilege of sharing this beautiful planet with; to know that one day soon we will get through this darkness and my wish is that we all come out: kinder, with a lot more clarity, wiser, stronger and a whole lot of humbleness. This current situation has certainly put a lot of things into perspective from understanding that we are NOT alone, that there is always someone willing to help, to learning to trust and rely on others in keeping each other safe and healthy with a whole lot of love—that is the bottom line.  That we are on the planet together, sharing our failures and success, that each of us has a mission to help the other succeed. Money is wonderful to have, but love, support, a kind word, a helping hand certainly goes along further. As for me, I recovered from my nasty fall; if you haven’t yet read my July post: “The Classic Do-Over’ be sure to read the details there, the universe had additional challenges to add my way with a leaky basement that will cost me upwards of $20,000 in renovations, talk about adding salt to the wound! So, why is my riverbed; my path in life, turning out to be such a rocky terrain and not as smooth as I once perceived it to be, when I was in the flow, earning excellent income, getting all the green lights? Why is life insisting on throwing me these challenges when I am in the least mind-space to tackle such challenges, such rocky paths.

My entire being, the reason I am here today, my achievements till now, successes, have been a result of these key attributes:

  • Discipline
  • Focus
  • Dedication
  • Determination

If the above actions resonate with you, then you will agree the common thread is all about hard work. To succeed at life, you must have a formula that works for you, that keeps you aiming high to hit your goal, hit your target; the key is: aim at something. I have been in the work force since the young age of thirteen and it did not matter that I may have started flipping burgers or being a birthday hostess—my discipline, dedication, determination and focus to being the best at whatever job came my way, I made sure I walked through the doors that opened for me and gave my 1000% every time. I was always early when starting my shifts and when I arrived, I was deep into whatever work related tasks / challenge came my way, offering support, rolling up my sleeves and learning the ropes—there was nothing I could not learn.  My attitude was never: “This is not my job, so I will not participate”, instead it was: “I will participate to make things easier for you and all involved that will help make the day better.” I had a: “I will learn everything attitude” and I was determined to teach myself no matter how many hours it took.

This discipline carried me through my entire career path in the corporate world that was my life for thirty years. While these attributes kept me moving, as I look through the lens of thirty years of wisdom and spiritual awareness, I have come to an understanding that those very same attributes clouded my path; my path to discovering my purpose and in some way acted as a resistance to what is rightfully mine—my power, my effortless flow of abundance.  Whereas, working hard at what you aim, will certainly deliver success; I am discovering that getting out of my own way, and allowing that which I focus on, flow to me easily and freely with limited resistance, with minimal effort is just as fun and better welcomed in my current path. What do I mean? Well, my friends this is the lesson I learned while licking my wounds from that nasty fall of July 2021, and from the occurrences of my leaky basement. You see, when experiencing or going through a challenge in life, most will react in a negative way, and might take on a: “why always me” attitude which will then lead to more lessons needed to be learned and it could be several spirals downward, heartaches and headaches, before you get to your ‘a-ha’ moment and then the light bulb turns “on” and you say, “yes”, I get it. My awareness, brings forth clarity that all that I experience in life, was necessary for me to come to the same conclusion, the same success but I arrived a little later—but I arrived, nonetheless. And yes, we are taught that challenges are essential for growth, although some of you take it to next level; you aim too high to quickly without taking anything in, without appreciating the moments, appreciating the journey that may lead to some pricey lessons, and I am here to tell you that you can avoid all that suffering! Awareness is where it is at!

As I went through life, taking on all challenges, putting my best foot forward, climbing all the ladders that needed to be climbed—fast forward 40 years, I did what was expected of me. To learn, to work, to succeed, to make money, to make others, money. I did my job—I was the job. I AM NOT DEFINED BY MY POSITION, MY JOB, TITLES, etc. So, who am I? and what is my purpose? You see, when you start asking these questions, the beautiful attributes you spent your entire life living by, no longer hold meaning because you now ask yourself: Who was I doing all this for? This might especially hit home if you are working for someone else and you do not have your own business at the age of forty, fifty or even sixty. (And there is absolutely nothing wrong with that if your soul is happy.) And even then, the answer to who you are doing all this for? might still be an astonishing: “don’t know”. Maybe you were talked into doing it for many reasons not necessarily monetary, perhaps you had a vision you pursued at a very young age and family followed suit, so it became your family income, but was it about you? The purpose of this article is not to discourage you from pursuing your dreams, your goals—we need those to do life. That you have something along the way, that keeps you moving forward, learning lessons, keeping active but what I propose is: that when doing life that you do it from a space of inspiration, a space of humility, that you always continue learning, that you do it for you with the least resistance, that you might have fun along the way.  I will say, I have always been an individual who was very much aware of my experiences as they happened, so whether negative or positive, I always kept my head up high, knowing I was learning from every experience—never taking the bad as a defeat, but as a period of growth and nurturing my soul. Looking back however, I will say I might have done better at getting out of my own way and allowing the flow when it came to making more money quicker and with ease. You see where I am going with this? If I am wired to thinking that everything I want comes with hard work, discipline, focus, determination—all the hard work, then money will flow in that same riverbed, hard flow, with many rubbles keeping the flow from being a smooth one with of course resistance along the way, from not accepting the path. This is the hard lesson I was learning this summer.

I was beating myself up, because I am currently switching careers and shifting to a more self-employed, entrepreneurial career path that is more of who I am. And although, yes, it is imperative, that as an entrepreneur you need the attributes I discussed above, and possibly more, to be successful, it should not come with the amount of stress that it does as when you are working for someone else. These attributes are a part of you and should not be used to define who you are, or where you fall on the Forbes line-up but more about discovering your path to your true self. When you are on a path of self-discovery, you should not be beating yourself up, instead you should be loving yourself, embracing all moments, loving every inch, embracing all the perfections and imperfections that make who you are in this vast wonderful planet! You see, while I had no reason to feel panicked for money, my mind (my ego) was feeding my brain old truths about how “I make money”, which is “work hard” and as I was not attending a place of work due to COVID and other reasons, it sure played a number on me, and blocked my path for financial wealth and continue the flow as it once did—easily and freely (except without the 12hr. shifts of course and the unappreciative boss)—this is how we resist the flow. Creating a mental path of lack, and need, which puts us on the hamster wheel of life; a repeated path of events that keep you trapped into thinking I need to do this to “get”, or I need to acquire this to be successful—this is the lie we feed ourselves, we feed our families.  Instead, we need nothing…we simply need to be. To accept and allow opportunities as they come; and they come effortless, all you must do is think about what you desire. When are you most happy? What fills you?  Inspiration is the vehicle that drives all possibilities transforming the way we perceive our own capabilities. An openness to experience, mastering whatever small gifts you hold (and we all do), living an inspired life, will only thrust you to your desired life, awakening your soul, that only being ‘in the flow’ allows—no resistance. When living in this flow, it only leads to happiness.

So here is my discovery, I mentioned earlier that in addition to my nasty fall earlier this year, I also had to go through this set-back of experiencing a leaky basement. No, it was not a flood, just a leak in one of the pipes that had burst but not in the normal standard, burst-pipe flooding way, but a “burst” resulting in a small leak-kind of way.  This time around, I decided to call on my insurance, because why not—that is why they are there to give me a piece of mind, right?  The answer to that is a big fat NO! Apparently, insurers have their ‘wording’ they look for when accepting or denying liability, that IF a contractor’s description of causation (literally play on words) to describe cause of damage, does not fall under the wording of the policy—it gets denied! Can you believe that? I have had my share of dealing with all sorts of insurers when representing clients in the past in assisting these poor souls involved in significant accidents leaving them catastrophically injured so I had an idea of what I would be up against but because I always have faith in that all will resolve and because I always gave my 1000% by providing insurers all the goods, I thought smooth sailing for me as well—but NO. So, I am still battling it out, it is just so disappointing to say the least that we pay so much of our hard-earned money over the years, NEVER put in a claim for over thirty years, and because things are tough since COVID, you think, “I am insured all is good”—but NO. I pray that all will resolve for the highest good of all and all in good intention.

So here is the deal, here is why I am sharing this with you and my discovery of the “path of least resistance’, when the contractor, came out to inspect the area, he gave me a sermon and educated me on the flow of water taking the “path of least resistance” as it moved away from the tiled flooring and climbed up my walls leaving the lovely mold that now decorates my walls. To which I said “huh”.  And guess what my sweet souls: insurers DO NOT PAY FOR MOLD. What I do know is that with water damage, mold is inevitable regardless of how many hours, days, weeks—but our lovely insurers have somehow snuck a clause that clears them from any mold damage—how do they get away with this?  How do they sleep at night knowing they are taking millions of dollars from hard working people knowing that water damage and mold are part and parcel and somehow, they refuse to be liable for such damage? Well, my friends, this is my life right now, I know it could be worse—to which I am thankful that I am only dealing with materials and nothing else, but I could do without the frustration. So, my story continues with a lovely independent adjuster attending my home, who continued his inspection and repeated the sermon to me, of “water flow” and “the path of least resistance”.  I noted it, screenshotted in my brain, and continued with my argument as to why this damage should be paid. This dispute led to a second contractor attending my home, this time a plumber. I told him that the previous contractor, who is an expert in mold removal, inspected the damage and this plumber quoted verbatim what the previous contractor would have said to me: blah, blah, blah…” path of least resistance”. So here I was, standing in the middle of my basement, just trying to get this resolved and hopefully have insurers consider payment seeing that it is water damage, and that they should pay, but most importantly I stood there thinking maybe I am going about life all wrong? Why am I placing obstacles where I should not? The universe is trying to reveal a life lesson to me, easy flow of money, and I am insisting on resisting it because I am wired this way, because it is the way I know how to make money, because it is the way it has always been. Work hard and you will get a cheque!  But is this the way to true wealth? There are not enough hours in the day to make the amount of wealth I wish to make! Surely it is not possible? And then a light bulb sparks: water will flow in the path of least resistance. No, literally a light bulb did spark, as I changed my mom’s refrigerator bulb 😊. The light switch came on! My ‘aha’ moment. I get the lesson universe! What I choose to focus on, is exactly what I will attract to into reality. In other words, what I focus on, expands—flow.

As we know everything is energy. Guess what? Money is energy too. If we know money is energy, then money will flow in the path of least resistance. If I am busy worrying about money or wondering HOW I can get from here to there financially, I am blocking my flow of money. I am creating all these obstacles with my whys? who’s? how’s? The “why me?” Just as I trusted in healing my body after my nasty fall which I did quickly and effortless, so too, I began easing my trust about money flow. Money has never been my worry, I have always worked, spent, and it flowed. I do believe however, that more of it could have flowed, I just never put the focus on money more than I did the actual “working hard” part. To do and be my best. It was important to me—a promise I made to myself. What I discovered however, is that all the hard work, I put in was not for myself, but for others, and it earned others darn good money. The discipline, the focus, the hard work, help shape the person I am today, but it did not put extra cash in my pocket. So now, my focus is on me and who I am in this vast planet, my legacy, my being and how I want to feel, always with humility and a little more cash…why not? I deserve it! It is my birth right.  The truth is: it is equally hard work letting go of resistance—to train your logical mind to stop creating obstacles where there are none. Feeling good must be the priority regardless of what is happening around you—what is happening for you and NOT at you.

As I was worked on my healing, I turned to a few meditation videos and some motivational videos all not surprisingly enough discussing “the path of least resistance”.  It seems that every show I watched mentioned this phrase. The universe was doing its best to get my attention. One of the videos of course clarified for me “the path of least resistance” when it came to finances. (Now you are talking!) As I understand it: we are energy. We are magnets, we will attract that which we put focus on. When we focus on our desires, Source energy immediately creates it in our vortex—our energy field.  To manifest our desires in the material world, we must align with Source energy and how do we do that? By following the path of least resistance. So, if we go around asking for more wealth it will only elude us when we start thinking thoughts of worry, fear, doubt—”how will I make this vast amount of money?” When we start placing doubt and question if we deserve this wealth? Judgment is another block—when we say things like: “No one should make that much money, it is not natural?” We must learn to hold ourselves accountable for our own “damns” in our water flow, our blocks, our rubble, that make our flow; choppy, hard, and sometime seem like an eternity to reach its destination—you =wealth.

To allow flow or get in the flow, you must shift your perspective. Forget your old views on how to earn an excellent income and replace it with this principle:  manifesting money starts with the mind and belief system concerning wealth and money. We have created limited beliefs about money (and how we earn it) that we have internalized over time and accepted to be true in our lives, in what we see. If we accept money as energy and energy is accessible, unlimited supply of source energy that we can use as desired—this is a much easier way to form a healthy mindset necessary to acquire wealth. If you are stuck in the mindset that money is hard to come by and you must work extra hard to make loads of it, (which is limiting because of our beliefs and perception of linear time) that is not fun now, is it? Not only have you convinced yourself that it is hard to make money (not enough hours in the world could earn you the amount of wealth you wish), but you are also of the belief that when you earn it, you must save it and protect it because of how hard you worked to earn it. This keeps you trapped (in that hamster wheel) and blocking “the flow”. Whereas the wealthy have no problem in visualizing wealth; money they don’t yet have, they look at money they do have as a tool to acquire more wealth. So, while the rest of are squirreling away our money for a “rainy day”, the wealthy see their money pour down by the buckets, to more acquired wealth on rainy and sunny days.

The way I see it, we are headed towards an abundant world. Think of the speed technology has evolved and continues to evolve, each time, faster and faster.  I read that every 18 months or so, computer processing speed doubles—as a result ecommerce has grown exponentially and will continue its massive growth over the next two decades. Everything is energy. We ask and we receive (with great speed at might add), so will our bodies and minds do the same: Ask and you will attract to your world that which you focus on at great speed. So, be careful what you focus on.

So how do I rewire what I already have put to work for me in the past?

  • Discipline – A disciplined mindset is the true formula to becoming a leader in every aspect of life.
  • Focus – I am the focus of my journey. I work on me, my mind, body, and soul—create a mantra to stay focused.
  • Dedication – Just as I devoted endless hours at a job while working for someone else, I will devote endless hours on myself to reveal a better version of me.
  • Determination – Always remain determined to learn.  
  • Gratitude – Never underestimate the power of gratitude.  Being grateful ignites passion, inspiration, it will make you more receptive to new opportunities.

Being in the flow, is surrendering to source energy. It is spending less time resisting, debating whether to indulge in behaviours and activities that don’t align with your values and goals.  Whereas I once walked through the doors that opened for me with great determination, making things happen with great focus and discipline, I recognize that I am now the architect of my life, dreaming up worlds that I once thought impossible, I will now make possible—no matter what the universe decides should come my way (always for the better, even if I many not think so at the time). I will ride the wave of life, allowing and accepting the flow, allowing it to take me where it needs to just as long as I focus on me, that I am inspired each day, ensuring that I am experiencing joy every step of the way, always being grateful and loving me, loving life.

When you eliminate your abundance blocks, passion is what flows. Inspiration is the result, and this is not only in your professional life but in all aspects of life, it is not only about attracting financial wealth but what you most desire in all areas of your life. You will begin to experience sudden rushes of creative ideas and as creative ideas start to flow, you experience optimal work and life balance. You begin to see your life with clarity. As you start relaxing in the flow of success, you begin to attract financial abundance without resistance. You allow yourself to shift your perspective by embracing the mindset of “unlimited” power and “abundance” and your focus and discipline will be your drive to your optimal success in whatever you choose to focus on. Whether it be a loving relationship(s), optimal health and fitness, success in what you are passionate about.  With dedication and determination anyone can push the boundaries of their comfort zone. By getting out of your own way and removing the subconscious obstacles that kept you from flying, from allowing the flow, you will attract easily and freely that which you so desire into your physical world. By becoming aware and eliminating old beliefs, emotions, practices that no longer serve us, will ease the flow—isn’t ‘easy’ what we all dream of, but fail at? If you have done the hard inner work of discipline, focus, determination and have dedicated your life to honoring yourself and being the best at what you do, then all you need going forward is the motivation to connecting to all the things you want, recognizing what each step, along the path, will ultimately give you: happiness.  By taking the path of least resistance, removing, doubt, guilt, anger, fear and allowing yourself the experiences that better serve who you are will ultimately support the best version of yourself.

Stop the self-sabotage, as you surrender and experience these mind-shifts, and you become aware of the coincidences and opportunities that will continue to show up in your world effortless. As you accept your new reality that all things including financial abundance come easily and freely, you will feel empowered so too, will the people around you, friends, family will reap the rewards of such empowerment. This uplifting energy creates a wonderful ripple effect of prosperity and positivity and is this not what we wish in the world? So, my friends, as you align yourselves with source energy, and you are true to yourself, follow your path, listen to your inner voice, it will never steer you wrong—it will only bring you moments of happiness, joy and yes, abundance in the most peaceful and loving way!

There is a beautiful Sanskrit word I learned: Jyoti which means Light, Spiritual Force. While ignorance through resistance takes us through periods of darkness, and suffering, when we align ourselves with Source, Divine light, moves us beyond darkness with humility. Love, passion, inspiration is all we need to be in the “flow.”

You deserve to live a brilliant abundant life! Remember to stay humble and offer kindness, elevate everyone in your life, and those you have the opportunity and great privilege to meet today. Offer much love to your family and friends, give love and more love always, including your loyal and faithful pets!

Until our next visit together, stay kind and true to yourself.

To the beautiful, powerful you,

P.S. If you enjoyed this post, I would be incredibly grateful if you would help it spread by forwarding it to a friend or sharing it on Twitter or LinkedIn. I am now on IG, come join me there @anaspanowriter! Thank you!

The Classic Do-over

“I have always been delighted at the prospect of a new day, a fresh try, one more start, with perhaps a bit of magic waiting somewhere behind the morning.”—J. B. Priestly

When we are young, we are so full of energy, we are invincible, we think we have all the time in the world, our skin is supple—we thrive! We run carefree, convincing ourselves we can do anything, the world is our playground (or at least our back and front yards were😊). We dream worlds but somewhere along, as responsibility sets in, we tell ourselves a different story and we eject the wings that once had us flying and forget to dream. As we get into our forties it hits us: “I ‘shoulda’, ‘coulda’, ‘woulda’. But why didn’t I?” It seems life has a way of playing a cruel joke on us, giving us all the energy and vibrancy, early on in our lives when we do not know what we want for ourselves. Our stories may even take away our confidence early on, so we now have loads of energy and no confidence—bummer☹. I would say, it is around ‘forty’, and we have lived a few years, that we shift our perspectives, we gain our confidence—or we simply don’t care at this point what others think and we begin to speak our mind, and go after the things we should have when we were younger; except for most, we lack the energy or we convince ourselves “our ship has long since sailed”, we talk ourselves once again out of that ‘dream’ that must only remain…a dream buried in the ashes of the past. Life would be perfect if we could meet somewhere in the middle. To have our youthful looks, vibrant youthful energy—where there is no room for awkward and embarrassing, to relive a day, that pivotal moment in our life, where we choose different, we choose to fix problems steering our current life in a different direction. But is different better? Will it change what we see in the mirror?

Hello my beautiful souls! Welcome back! I hope you are continuing to keep safe, soon this will all be behind us, and I cannot wait to finally see beautiful smiles once more—something I deeply miss, for now we continue to do our part and keep practicing safety. So how about it? Would you welcome a do-over in your life? I do not know why this theme, kept popping up for me these past few weeks, so I decided to write about it—perhaps it may be a reoccurring theme in our collective minds, born from the darkness that is our present, these unusual times, having us locked up for too long and our wheels on overdrive, thinking, wondering, daydreaming—”what if”? I have no regrets in life. I was student council president, I was quite outgoing (and still am), I spoke my mind, always. I have always been playful, but life has a way of pausing you. OK, the personality was there, the confidence was there, but I chose to marry young, so life took my dreams in a different direction. As my perspectives shift, I see my narrative starting from the end and working my way backwards—to catch up to my past and continue where I left of—does this make sense? I did not marry young to have kids, I married my high school sweetheart and managed to get that check mark, together we worked hard and paid off our mortgage at a young age ✅ check. I eventually had the kids; two beautiful intelligent young women ✅check, I did the career thing ✅check but what is missing? Perhaps it is the fulfillment thing…that is missing. Life will have you believe, you missed out, that perhaps you messed up along the way, or if you had chosen a different path, it might have been better, but that is not always true, is it? It all depends on your expectations and your perception of what that “perfect ideal” life looked like from the perspective of your adolescent mind. What picture did you hold for yourself? How did you view your life unfolding? Is the current mundane, stagnancy in life getting you down? And you know what I think of expectations—they do not do us any good, so toss it! This is when we should get in touch with our goals once again, to offer a little inspiration and much needed motivation. Yes, we might have to rethink our goals as they might have changed since our priorities are constantly changing as we ride the wave of life, our perspectives change so we replace what no longer serves us and find a new dream! It is time to get out of our heads and think with our hearts just like we did when we were kids—only participating in those activities that bring us joy. We did not waste time thinking how we were going to spend time; we just ran towards our joyful moment only following our heart. The important thing is to work on how we wish to feel the next thirty, forty, fifty years from now. Forget your old hurts, pains, regrets and open your heart—live there for awhile. Just feel LOVE in a new kind of way, the way you dreamed it would feel. Feel JOY, be in its constant state of childish play, carefree, vibrant energy.

Life may not offer us a do-over, and as for a reset button we can only keep looking, but it certainly offers us plenty of opportunities to make better tomorrows. That is the beauty of life—you get one!  There is no wrong or right way, you are meant to experience it all! Mistakes, embarrassing moments, moments of sadness, failures, joys, laughter, success to experience it fully! As we participate, as we embrace, we learn, we grow, with each experience, we become a little wiser, knowing what we like or don’t. When we experience it fully, we learn to embrace the moment, embrace change, learn from it, and move on—this is how emotions come to be. As our perspectives shift, we start inviting into our world different things, different experiences, stirring up different emotions. By nature, I am an individual who rarely tries new products, I am a: “Why fix what ain’t broke”, kinda person.  Do not get me wrong, I am very open-minded to experiences and things, but when it comes to products, maybe it is something I cannot bother to try the alternative. Maybe some things are meant to remain, and that is my thing—my version of permanence in my life. I am ready to go off into the world and experience it all but leave my products alone😊.  My husband on the other hand loves trying new products and on the rare occasion he goes grocery shopping, he will come home with a new product…what?? In most cases, I will like the product, but I will continue to buy my old brand and combine the two—that’s me 😜. Is it the familiar thing? Is my mind not ready to let go of the old? My husband, will however, have a hard time inviting new experiences in his life, he has difficulty with change in that respect—do not invite new emotions it does not go well with his anxiety, but he is learning to allow and accept change and understands that it is good. So maybe, it is a good thing that for most of us, we get to make the bigger decisions later in life, when we know better (at least we think we do). There is that contradiction (in life) I talked about: “Follow your heart but don’t give into emotion when making a decision;” “Go and make your tomorrows happen but be patient, be still and allow the fates to intervene.” Huh? I know, no wonder the majority feel lost—not knowing which way to go. I guess what I am trying to share with you is that the best decisions are made with an awareness of what you are getting yourself into, patience with yourself and a whole lot of accountability. To tackle life and go into it knowing the repercussions of some of those decisions and be willing to accept them as experiences necessary, be ready to hold yourself accountable for those repercussions so that if something does not turn out, you are not blaming everyone else but yourself. And by “knowing better”, I am not necessarily referring to, intelligent decisions (that’s boring), no what I am referring to is: the feeling behind the task at hand. Think about it: if you have lived forty years of your life and you have engaged in personal, and professional relationships, you have engaged in life in general—you must have a fairly good idea of what you liked or did not like from those experiences—so why repeat it?  Embrace the perfections and imperfections—it is all relevant, it all has a purpose. How would you know to not want relive a moment or want a particulare thing in your life, if you did not already live it, if you did not already experience it?

“The more value you add to the lives of others, the more valuable you become to them.”—Hal Elrod

When you make it your mission in life to fill yourself up of all that is good, a good heart, kindness, love, peace, joy, then your outer world will only reflect that which you have inside. It is not the other way around.  You must never think that once your outer world changes, then you will start feeling better about yourself. Do not fall into that misguided perception that you will only feel good, that you will achieve happiness when your outer world is good. As we get to experience the “good” and “bad” moments in life, the emotions born from those moments and we become a little wiser, we start filling our shopping carts with things that are of more value instead of things that temporarily fix our mood. Our younger selves loved filling our carts with ‘crap’, with senseless ‘stuff’ we thought would fill our hearts and would make us happy. Now we are a little older, much wiser—all that stuff no longer serves us. We begin to understand that materials are wonderful to have but they certainly do not fill us, they keep us wanting and needing more, always. As we acquire our large and small ‘stuff’, we forget to be grateful along the way.  Forgetting this small but impactful practice of expressing gratitude and appreciation for all experiences including the smallest of moments, is what keeps us in the ‘need’ always striving for more in our lives, that is not always on the positive. When we fill ourselves with love, peace, joy and feelings of gratitude, that can only come from loving experiences, family, loving friends, that add value to our lives, then the materials become less significant—your narrative then becomes more of, “How may I serve? How may I bring more value to my life, and those I love?” When you are full of love and gratitude, your heart is open—you become a magnet attracting more of the good that is currently filling you; abundance, love—love for yourself and your loved ones. Many aspects of life can leave us feeling overwhelmed, trapped at times. When we pivot our thoughts, and learn to stay the course, trusting the process, allowing life to do its thing, always participating, embracing the flow, we learn to enjoy doing life, no matter what it has in store for us. Remember life happens for you NOT at you.

Our thoughts have a way of creating an illusion, often fear based—a way ego keeps us from realising our potential, our body soon follows and begins to operate from a survival mode, the body then becomes the mind and emotion. As we live the mundane, the responsible life, we forget to feed our minds new dreams, new thoughts, new emotions—we get stuck, our bodies then work from reaction mode, the subconscious level of whatever emotion you fed it in the past: anger, frustrations, fear, resentment, pain, suffering. If your body continues to function from this subconscious level long enough—this is when illness materialises into your present. Bitterness is what keeps you from flying. It is also, what keeps you living in the past—an illusion you created that was probably your perception of a “better life” than the one you are currently living, or a memory of a made-up future you thought was right for you. When we remove the imaginary constraints, we ourselves create, we no longer feel beaten, we remove the walls around us, we worked so hard to put up because of fear, because we gave a person, place, or a moment (high or low) more credit than ourselves. It is time to break that fictitious ceiling, do not give it power in letting you believe what you do not deserve, what is rightfully yours—that something is beyond your reach, be “the more” in your life. Do the deed, be fully present and detach from outcomes. Instead, let constraints be the force that drives you to your next dream, your next goal.

Allow me to continue with our shopping cart analogy, what shall we fill it with? What will make me happy right now? As I navigate the streets of my little town, I realise I am not driving a ‘G-Wagon’, but I have a car ✅check. I have never been a Mercedes-Benz ‘kinda gal’, but that ‘G-Wagon’ sure looks sweet! No, it will not bring me joy, but it will put a smile on my face as I take a drive around the film district in Toronto, with all their high-end boutiques and fine dining😊. Something to work towards, maybe my taste will change in the next five to ten years.  I mentioned I have a mortgage-free house, that certainly is sweet. I have done some traveling, mostly the Caribbean. I know, I know right…not a bad life. My shopping cart is still empty except for the G-Wagon that is perhaps a maybe, but my heart is full.

Throughout, I have kept my body somewhat fit. I have never made weight an issue, so it is not. My health is optimal because what I put my attention to, I will attract in my life. Whatever I give energy to and attention to will come back to me. Why give what I do not want, energy? My experiences create emotion, and I know emotion is energy in motion, it is fluid—it is energy moving through my body, meant to be felt and released, so I stay focused on the good.  My positive outlook on life takes care of that for me. I am always full of positive energy, and I am convinced that this energy is what keeps me healthy and fit, always burning the excess I do not need in every aspect of my life that includes stress. I exercise in the morning releasing all the good endorphins and dopamine elevating me to my highest good, and I eat what I want. I could enhance my diet with some healthier choices. I am working on it. I recognize that I want this body to last me for many more years to come, so I must do better—accountability ✅ check. My body is my vehicle that keeps me mobile, taking me wherever I need to go, independently, so I must keep it in check. I gain a healthy check mark on health and fitness although I will ensure to do more—there is always room for improvement! Holding yourself accountable for your choices in life is key. Do the deed, recognise it needs to get done, and enjoy doing it! When you learn to view limitations as a driving force, striving for success in whatever you choose to do, giving up is never an option. Let’s not stop at fitness goals, what life goals do you have? Not having money is no excuse—make your miracles, opportunities are always surrounding us to make us better in business, as individuals, you just need to decide that you want them, failure is the opportunity to begin again—reach beyond your grasp—life certainly has a way of rewarding you.

Having a corporate life was fun and I was deep into it for over thirty years. I learned a lot, my bosses were never my mentors as it turned out, but they certainly made work life interesting, and that’s OK, life is my eternal mentor. Always revealing itself to me, teaching me to put in the hard work, keep planting seeds and you will get rewarded, life tells me. Life has taught me and continues to teach me that kindness will open many doors. All you must do is show up every day, support others, surround yourself with good people, and the universe will be kind and generous with you. Never take anything personal, we are all learning here, take the lesson learned and move on. I will say with certainty that I gave my 1000%, always gave more value than my worth, I have no regrets, I stayed in the corporate scene until it no longer brought me joy. Love is the secret. Love for your work, love for your peers and love for yourself, loving what you do, loving life and who you are in it, that is the engine that will keep you going full steam ahead. Working in the legal sector had its challenges but nothing compares to married life. Now marriage is hard work—no one said it would be easy, nurturing your relationship is key, pour a lot of love into it, and it will not disappoint. Life throws many challenges, you must learn to keep your head above water, grow from the punches, face it full force, just learn to breathe and together—enjoy the ride, enjoy the journey! I should know, I have enjoyed thirty wonderful years with my high school sweetheart! Sure, it was hard in the beginning, with our different views, different cultures and it got even messier when we threw kids in the mix. But here we are with two beautiful girls, one graduated ‘with honors and distinction’ and her younger sister, on her way there, having made her way on the Dean’s list already just entering her third year of university. This is our pay off! This is what we put our heart, sweat and tears and the universe has a way of rewarding us! Nice fat check mark under family ✅ check! So, nothing to add to my cart but the G-Wagon so far and my heart continues to be full.

I may not have all the zeros in my bank account as I would hope for, but I have done quite well for myself, and I still have my sanity—that is a big fat ✅ check! So, what is it that most of us look for? Why is it that most think they have missed out on? What are you hoping to find in those finance magazines? An even better question to ask is: “What will you do when you accumulate all the zeros in your bank account?” Do not get me wrong there is nothing wrong in going after financial abundance, heck it is wonderful to attain financial freedom but who do you hope to become? Do you love who you are now? Do you hope to love yourself even more? Do you hope to love more?” So, maybe you do not own a car, but you are able to get around, and maybe you have money for transit or transportation in whatever form (Hey it beats paying for gas, insurance, and maintenance.).  If you wish to join us insurance payers, don’t worry you’ll get there just set the right goals, it is never too late😊.  Maybe you are married, you are busy being mommy, caregiver, balancing a job, and you somehow forgot yourself along the way. You became mommy to everyone including your partner, what happened? Or maybe you married your sweet-heart that stole your heart all those years ago, which is great, you lost your nerve along the way and now you are 40, 50, still sitting in that cubicle—not the expectation you had for yourself, huh? What happened? You both forgot to continue to dream, to re-draft your goals, and map out new ones, but there is still time. There is always time to become more, to add more value to this hurting world. The universe always offers an opportunity to check-in, checking out should never be an option. Familiar is wonderful. To have a life-long partner, someone that knows all your quirks, who makes you laugh, and is there to hold your hand and catch you when you fall. Why would you give that up? Because guess what? when you finally make it—it will all be worth it in the end. The late nights, the tears, the hurts, the sacrifices, the pains, the bumpy roads, all shared together as family—the value of family is priceless! Marriage should never be about losing yourself but becoming more together, it is about finding more of ourselves.  But this is where familiar should end. To live a fulfilled life, different must be your new norm—to think greater than how you feel. You see what I mean about contradictions—you must learn to navigate through them, knowing when to apply, when to sail, when to change course. Stop being addicted to the same emotions, the same experiences because you will only continue to create the same predictable future. Do not wait for tragedy to strike before you decide to begin to make necessary changes, invite wonderful challenges, invite different, to live a joy-filled and inspired life.

So, maybe there is no reset button, but we could all benefit from a little pause, take the time to reflect, inspect our wins, our losses, our triumphs our mishaps, take the lessons learned and look forward to better tomorrows. That is what COVID did to us, it offered us a moment of ‘pause’. To take a moment to think about what you were doing right before the world stopped. What were you doing, where were you headed? What did you think was happening at you? Maybe you were in a dead-end job, hiding behind a pile of paper, never allowing yourself to realise your true potential. Maybe success got all the checks, but you were not allowing for the necessary pauses in life, to check in with yourself, to appreciate the little things, including family. As we go about our lives, we tend to tell many different versions of our stories—those we tell ourselves and those we tell or show others. These pauses in life, show us to embrace all the imperfections in our lives, perfectly woven in our stories that only serve to add more value to our experiences here in this lifetime—to be more than you were. Our losses, our challenges, perfectly placed, divinely timed, to offer us strength, light after dark. Learning to love ‘the you’, after darkness, after challenges, after brokenness. We only gain the gifts of trust, faith, love, humility when we experience life through our authenticity and in this authenticity, we experience life in its truest, rawest, form embracing its imperfections never questioning it. When we learn to live our authentic lives, we experience exponential growth, a growth that only comes from trusting the flow. You stop resisting life, resisting change, taking on the challenges as badges of honor to be worn, unveiling a better version of yourself—one of more value, always.

You get one life, live it fully and completely! We have choices in life, learn to lead with your heart and fill yourself with beauty, love, peace, kindness. Your soul has the map to your destiny it will only reflect to you what you put into it. What was meant for you will always be there until you are ready to tap into it—opportunities will never pass you by. When you look for wonderful things, you will only find more of them. Your inner world must be filled with what you want to see in the world. Learn to let go of the chaos that surrounds you and go within. Learn to let go of illusions placed there by your material mind, by ego, and learn to listen to your heart. Do not go chasing success or a version of success because you feel that is what you should do or because society says so or because of a false perception says it’s the way. Breathe, dig deep connect with your heart and do what you love, success is a by-product of that love, of that force. When I have a pressing question and don’t know which way to go, I will close my eyes, and listen to my heart. I will ask the question and feel what is right for me. If feelings of frustration, anger, feelings of being overwhelmed come forth, then I know that it is not for me. If faced with a new experience and feelings of peace, joy, butterflies, fire in my belly, excitement overtakes me—then it is right. Life gives you plenty of opportunities to re-invent yourself, pivot, and live your best life in the truest form. Live it for you, not for everyone else. Life has taught me that I must like my own company, I like to sleep with the person that I am, no matter who sleeps beside me. I laugh, I love, I give more of myself, always.

Maybe now is the time, you take that leap of faith into that relationship you longed for, or that career opportunity you thought you were not good enough for, maybe today is the day you learn to look past your selfish needs and go after your true desires, that dream that keeps you up at night, learn to let go of needing things into your life and place your focus on your wants, dreams, desires that fill your heart and soul! You see, it is never about a do-over, it is about seizing moments. There is no right or wrong, if it was meant for you and you dreamed it, it is never too late—your dream life is simply waiting for you so step into it! So maybe you did not get to publish your first book at the age of 20 or even 30, perhaps 50 or 60 is more of what the universe had in mind for you. Ronald Reagan best said it in his quote: “There are no constraints on the human mind, no walls around the human spirit, no barriers to our progress except those we ourselves erect.”  Stop spending your days chasing your moments, be in the moment and let your moments, your successes chase you. There is no other place to be, then here and now. Embrace it! Recognise that whatever happened in your life or is happening, needed to happen and unfold in the manner that it did. If you are not feeling joy right now, it is simply time for you to go back to drawing table and re-draft a new dream, shift your perspective, and see what the wizard has in store for you! Enjoy your freedom if you have it, read, write, dance, create! Enjoy your children, partners, pets—it’s all good😊, but the secret to a well lived life is that you enjoy whatever you have the privilege and opportunity in life to do!  Do not get lost in your head, with thoughts of “what-ifs” and “needs” or perceptions of what you think the “perfect” life is; visions placed by your inexperienced mind. You have lived a few moments since then, a few tears, a few joys—so what do you want to feel right now? How has your life experience enhanced that future joy, that future love, has it added value to your life?

In writing this blog, like many writers, you experience moments of enlightenment, that help elevate your writing with that personal touch so that your audience is so much more engaged, intrigued by your personal experiences allowing for that connectedness that I often talk about. When you begin to view the world from this perspective, connecting to person, experiences, places, it is when you learn to act from compassion and empathy, you no longer view yourself as separate. You embrace all moments as experiences necessary for your growth. On this very writing journey, I had a moment of pause, my peace was interrupted with a moment of bringing awareness to my present being. As my town began to re-open businesses that had been shut for a few months, I decided I wanted to venture out of my cave and safely allow myself for what I thought was much needed shopping time (mostly for my girls) having summer upon us it would be nice to embrace it with summer dresses and to also offer my support to the community. It turns out, the universe had something else planned, and what should have been a joyful shopping spree, turned out to be a painful afternoon of licking wounds and an inability to sit, sneeze or laugh.  I suffered a significant fall on my way, knocking the wind out of me and leaving me incapacitated for more than a week. Suffering significant bruises as my patches of honor, on my upper thigh, contusions to my ribs and my entire upper left side including lungs were inflamed and unbearable to touch. Oh yeah, it was pretty bad; a senseless fall, its ramifications begging for my attention.  This was my pause; this was my moment to learn to sit still and allow others for once take care of me—something I seldom accept. To put myself higher on my list of priorities.

Canada is said to have two climates when driving, the challenges of winter driving and construction season☹. Summer is here and construction begins. I may start on one road, but ten minutes in, be told, you must detour. So, I pack a lot of patience, water, and wonderful music to enjoy my unplanned excursions. As I drive along, I notice some beautiful homes I never seen before, maybe some parks and wonderful people walking their pets—a wonderful site. Once you learn to relax and become ONE with life, the unraveling will stop and you will soon realise that all the hiccups, the missteps, the aches, the tears were necessary to bring value, to make you more valuable—a sacred loving nurturing gem, to appreciate moments that much more. You see, it is never about what you think you missed out on, but what you found instead. Choices made by you, a path leading you to more value, more memorable moments. If you had a different vision of what you currently see in the mirror, then pivot your thoughts, change the narrative starting from within, soon your outworld will reflect at you what you wish to see in your physical world. Once you stop the illusion of denial, lacks and limitations—stories told by you, and put on the lens that shows you that wisdom comes at a high price but leaves you empowered ready to take on life with clarity and acceptance, living in joy. If you keep looking down at that half-empty glass, you will miss out what the universe is revealing to you now! Let go of your struggle, stop living in the past and immerse yourself in this experience, be opened to receiving what is yours—you just need faith and trust in the flow!

So where does that leave my cart? Let’s just say the G-Wagon will be on my wish-list under want category and “fun I deserve” in the not-too-distant future because why not? In life, once you have done all the hard work, recognising time is the most precious gift, you allow yourself the gifts of truths, humbleness and yes, you allow your wants to become your needs because you deserve it! I don’t really need a G-Wagon but it will be a fun replacement for my past Toyota and Mazda moments and experiences. They certainly served their purpose, offering space for diapers, baby furniture and endless toys, and yes, babies, they were the smart economic decisions made by two very naïve unsuspecting parents. They housed, the joys, the tears, the “for sures” and bumps and bruises along the way, the “I’m all in” moments. This new dream—I will keep under ‘fun’, exciting, beautifully disguised and dynamic—one of value in my journey of self discovery, a decision made by a very present me.

So, it is not about a do-over or a reset in life, it is about making choices and liking the choices you make because you have to live with it. Never fall for the: “You get one chance in life so make it right”, no, you get one life—live it with all the rights, wrongs, messiness, imperfections and successes—embrace it all! Life is a chaos and amid that chaos and all the randomness; it never fails to surprise you; an unexpected event occurs thrusting you forward, leaving you breathless, just be sure to be present every step of the way—the key is having no regrets. Sometimes life will slow down just enough and remind us we are all connected fate always working its magic letting you know you grew into the individual you were always meant to be. Every morning is the start of a new day, your opportunity for a do-over, to start anew to add more value than the day before. You deserve to live a brilliant abundant life! Go live it! Invite uncondition love into your life, into your world, it will never disapoint!

Remember to stay humble and offer kindness,  elevate everyone in your life, and those you have the opportunity to meet today. Offer much love to yourself, family and friends, give love and more love always, including your loyal and faithful pets!

Until our next visit together, stay kind and true to yourself.

To the beautiful, powerful you,

P.S. If you enjoyed this post, I would be incredibly grateful if you would help it spread by forwarding it to a friend or sharing it on Twitter or LinkedIn. I am now on IG, come join me there @anaspanowriter! Thank you!