The Classic Do-over

“I have always been delighted at the prospect of a new day, a fresh try, one more start, with perhaps a bit of magic waiting somewhere behind the morning.”—J. B. Priestly

When we are young, we are so full of energy, we are invincible, we think we have all the time in the world, our skin is supple—we thrive! We run carefree, convincing ourselves we can do anything, the world is our playground (or at least our back and front yards were😊). We dream worlds but somewhere along, as responsibility sets in, we tell ourselves a different story and we eject the wings that once had us flying and forget to dream. As we get into our forties it hits us: “I ‘shoulda’, ‘coulda’, ‘woulda’. But why didn’t I?” It seems life has a way of playing a cruel joke on us, giving us all the energy and vibrancy, early on in our lives when we do not know what we want for ourselves. Our stories may even take away our confidence early on, so we now have loads of energy and no confidence—bummer☹. I would say, it is around ‘forty’, and we have lived a few years, that we shift our perspectives, we gain our confidence—or we simply don’t care at this point what others think and we begin to speak our mind, and go after the things we should have when we were younger; except for most, we lack the energy or we convince ourselves “our ship has long since sailed”, we talk ourselves once again out of that ‘dream’ that must only remain…a dream buried in the ashes of the past. Life would be perfect if we could meet somewhere in the middle. To have our youthful looks, vibrant youthful energy—where there is no room for awkward and embarrassing, to relive a day, that pivotal moment in our life, where we choose different, we choose to fix problems steering our current life in a different direction. But is different better? Will it change what we see in the mirror?

Hello my beautiful souls! Welcome back! I hope you are continuing to keep safe, soon this will all be behind us, and I cannot wait to finally see beautiful smiles once more—something I deeply miss, for now we continue to do our part and keep practicing safety. So how about it? Would you welcome a do-over in your life? I do not know why this theme, kept popping up for me these past few weeks, so I decided to write about it—perhaps it may be a reoccurring theme in our collective minds, born from the darkness that is our present, these unusual times, having us locked up for too long and our wheels on overdrive, thinking, wondering, daydreaming—”what if”? I have no regrets in life. I was student council president, I was quite outgoing (and still am), I spoke my mind, always. I have always been playful, but life has a way of pausing you. OK, the personality was there, the confidence was there, but I chose to marry young, so life took my dreams in a different direction. As my perspectives shift, I see my narrative starting from the end and working my way backwards—to catch up to my past and continue where I left of—does this make sense? I did not marry young to have kids, I married my high school sweetheart and managed to get that check mark, together we worked hard and paid off our mortgage at a young age ✅ check. I eventually had the kids; two beautiful intelligent young women ✅check, I did the career thing ✅check but what is missing? Perhaps it is the fulfillment thing…that is missing. Life will have you believe, you missed out, that perhaps you messed up along the way, or if you had chosen a different path, it might have been better, but that is not always true, is it? It all depends on your expectations and your perception of what that “perfect ideal” life looked like from the perspective of your adolescent mind. What picture did you hold for yourself? How did you view your life unfolding? Is the current mundane, stagnancy in life getting you down? And you know what I think of expectations—they do not do us any good, so toss it! This is when we should get in touch with our goals once again, to offer a little inspiration and much needed motivation. Yes, we might have to rethink our goals as they might have changed since our priorities are constantly changing as we ride the wave of life, our perspectives change so we replace what no longer serves us and find a new dream! It is time to get out of our heads and think with our hearts just like we did when we were kids—only participating in those activities that bring us joy. We did not waste time thinking how we were going to spend time; we just ran towards our joyful moment only following our heart. The important thing is to work on how we wish to feel the next thirty, forty, fifty years from now. Forget your old hurts, pains, regrets and open your heart—live there for awhile. Just feel LOVE in a new kind of way, the way you dreamed it would feel. Feel JOY, be in its constant state of childish play, carefree, vibrant energy.

Life may not offer us a do-over, and as for a reset button we can only keep looking, but it certainly offers us plenty of opportunities to make better tomorrows. That is the beauty of life—you get one!  There is no wrong or right way, you are meant to experience it all! Mistakes, embarrassing moments, moments of sadness, failures, joys, laughter, success to experience it fully! As we participate, as we embrace, we learn, we grow, with each experience, we become a little wiser, knowing what we like or don’t. When we experience it fully, we learn to embrace the moment, embrace change, learn from it, and move on—this is how emotions come to be. As our perspectives shift, we start inviting into our world different things, different experiences, stirring up different emotions. By nature, I am an individual who rarely tries new products, I am a: “Why fix what ain’t broke”, kinda person.  Do not get me wrong, I am very open-minded to experiences and things, but when it comes to products, maybe it is something I cannot bother to try the alternative. Maybe some things are meant to remain, and that is my thing—my version of permanence in my life. I am ready to go off into the world and experience it all but leave my products alone😊.  My husband on the other hand loves trying new products and on the rare occasion he goes grocery shopping, he will come home with a new product…what?? In most cases, I will like the product, but I will continue to buy my old brand and combine the two—that’s me 😜. Is it the familiar thing? Is my mind not ready to let go of the old? My husband, will however, have a hard time inviting new experiences in his life, he has difficulty with change in that respect—do not invite new emotions it does not go well with his anxiety, but he is learning to allow and accept change and understands that it is good. So maybe, it is a good thing that for most of us, we get to make the bigger decisions later in life, when we know better (at least we think we do). There is that contradiction (in life) I talked about: “Follow your heart but don’t give into emotion when making a decision;” “Go and make your tomorrows happen but be patient, be still and allow the fates to intervene.” Huh? I know, no wonder the majority feel lost—not knowing which way to go. I guess what I am trying to share with you is that the best decisions are made with an awareness of what you are getting yourself into, patience with yourself and a whole lot of accountability. To tackle life and go into it knowing the repercussions of some of those decisions and be willing to accept them as experiences necessary, be ready to hold yourself accountable for those repercussions so that if something does not turn out, you are not blaming everyone else but yourself. And by “knowing better”, I am not necessarily referring to, intelligent decisions (that’s boring), no what I am referring to is: the feeling behind the task at hand. Think about it: if you have lived forty years of your life and you have engaged in personal, and professional relationships, you have engaged in life in general—you must have a fairly good idea of what you liked or did not like from those experiences—so why repeat it?  Embrace the perfections and imperfections—it is all relevant, it all has a purpose. How would you know to not want relive a moment or want a particulare thing in your life, if you did not already live it, if you did not already experience it?

“The more value you add to the lives of others, the more valuable you become to them.”—Hal Elrod

When you make it your mission in life to fill yourself up of all that is good, a good heart, kindness, love, peace, joy, then your outer world will only reflect that which you have inside. It is not the other way around.  You must never think that once your outer world changes, then you will start feeling better about yourself. Do not fall into that misguided perception that you will only feel good, that you will achieve happiness when your outer world is good. As we get to experience the “good” and “bad” moments in life, the emotions born from those moments and we become a little wiser, we start filling our shopping carts with things that are of more value instead of things that temporarily fix our mood. Our younger selves loved filling our carts with ‘crap’, with senseless ‘stuff’ we thought would fill our hearts and would make us happy. Now we are a little older, much wiser—all that stuff no longer serves us. We begin to understand that materials are wonderful to have but they certainly do not fill us, they keep us wanting and needing more, always. As we acquire our large and small ‘stuff’, we forget to be grateful along the way.  Forgetting this small but impactful practice of expressing gratitude and appreciation for all experiences including the smallest of moments, is what keeps us in the ‘need’ always striving for more in our lives, that is not always on the positive. When we fill ourselves with love, peace, joy and feelings of gratitude, that can only come from loving experiences, family, loving friends, that add value to our lives, then the materials become less significant—your narrative then becomes more of, “How may I serve? How may I bring more value to my life, and those I love?” When you are full of love and gratitude, your heart is open—you become a magnet attracting more of the good that is currently filling you; abundance, love—love for yourself and your loved ones. Many aspects of life can leave us feeling overwhelmed, trapped at times. When we pivot our thoughts, and learn to stay the course, trusting the process, allowing life to do its thing, always participating, embracing the flow, we learn to enjoy doing life, no matter what it has in store for us. Remember life happens for you NOT at you.

Our thoughts have a way of creating an illusion, often fear based—a way ego keeps us from realising our potential, our body soon follows and begins to operate from a survival mode, the body then becomes the mind and emotion. As we live the mundane, the responsible life, we forget to feed our minds new dreams, new thoughts, new emotions—we get stuck, our bodies then work from reaction mode, the subconscious level of whatever emotion you fed it in the past: anger, frustrations, fear, resentment, pain, suffering. If your body continues to function from this subconscious level long enough—this is when illness materialises into your present. Bitterness is what keeps you from flying. It is also, what keeps you living in the past—an illusion you created that was probably your perception of a “better life” than the one you are currently living, or a memory of a made-up future you thought was right for you. When we remove the imaginary constraints, we ourselves create, we no longer feel beaten, we remove the walls around us, we worked so hard to put up because of fear, because we gave a person, place, or a moment (high or low) more credit than ourselves. It is time to break that fictitious ceiling, do not give it power in letting you believe what you do not deserve, what is rightfully yours—that something is beyond your reach, be “the more” in your life. Do the deed, be fully present and detach from outcomes. Instead, let constraints be the force that drives you to your next dream, your next goal.

Allow me to continue with our shopping cart analogy, what shall we fill it with? What will make me happy right now? As I navigate the streets of my little town, I realise I am not driving a ‘G-Wagon’, but I have a car ✅check. I have never been a Mercedes-Benz ‘kinda gal’, but that ‘G-Wagon’ sure looks sweet! No, it will not bring me joy, but it will put a smile on my face as I take a drive around the film district in Toronto, with all their high-end boutiques and fine dining😊. Something to work towards, maybe my taste will change in the next five to ten years.  I mentioned I have a mortgage-free house, that certainly is sweet. I have done some traveling, mostly the Caribbean. I know, I know right…not a bad life. My shopping cart is still empty except for the G-Wagon that is perhaps a maybe, but my heart is full.

Throughout, I have kept my body somewhat fit. I have never made weight an issue, so it is not. My health is optimal because what I put my attention to, I will attract in my life. Whatever I give energy to and attention to will come back to me. Why give what I do not want, energy? My experiences create emotion, and I know emotion is energy in motion, it is fluid—it is energy moving through my body, meant to be felt and released, so I stay focused on the good.  My positive outlook on life takes care of that for me. I am always full of positive energy, and I am convinced that this energy is what keeps me healthy and fit, always burning the excess I do not need in every aspect of my life that includes stress. I exercise in the morning releasing all the good endorphins and dopamine elevating me to my highest good, and I eat what I want. I could enhance my diet with some healthier choices. I am working on it. I recognize that I want this body to last me for many more years to come, so I must do better—accountability ✅ check. My body is my vehicle that keeps me mobile, taking me wherever I need to go, independently, so I must keep it in check. I gain a healthy check mark on health and fitness although I will ensure to do more—there is always room for improvement! Holding yourself accountable for your choices in life is key. Do the deed, recognise it needs to get done, and enjoy doing it! When you learn to view limitations as a driving force, striving for success in whatever you choose to do, giving up is never an option. Let’s not stop at fitness goals, what life goals do you have? Not having money is no excuse—make your miracles, opportunities are always surrounding us to make us better in business, as individuals, you just need to decide that you want them, failure is the opportunity to begin again—reach beyond your grasp—life certainly has a way of rewarding you.

Having a corporate life was fun and I was deep into it for over thirty years. I learned a lot, my bosses were never my mentors as it turned out, but they certainly made work life interesting, and that’s OK, life is my eternal mentor. Always revealing itself to me, teaching me to put in the hard work, keep planting seeds and you will get rewarded, life tells me. Life has taught me and continues to teach me that kindness will open many doors. All you must do is show up every day, support others, surround yourself with good people, and the universe will be kind and generous with you. Never take anything personal, we are all learning here, take the lesson learned and move on. I will say with certainty that I gave my 1000%, always gave more value than my worth, I have no regrets, I stayed in the corporate scene until it no longer brought me joy. Love is the secret. Love for your work, love for your peers and love for yourself, loving what you do, loving life and who you are in it, that is the engine that will keep you going full steam ahead. Working in the legal sector had its challenges but nothing compares to married life. Now marriage is hard work—no one said it would be easy, nurturing your relationship is key, pour a lot of love into it, and it will not disappoint. Life throws many challenges, you must learn to keep your head above water, grow from the punches, face it full force, just learn to breathe and together—enjoy the ride, enjoy the journey! I should know, I have enjoyed thirty wonderful years with my high school sweetheart! Sure, it was hard in the beginning, with our different views, different cultures and it got even messier when we threw kids in the mix. But here we are with two beautiful girls, one graduated ‘with honors and distinction’ and her younger sister, on her way there, having made her way on the Dean’s list already just entering her third year of university. This is our pay off! This is what we put our heart, sweat and tears and the universe has a way of rewarding us! Nice fat check mark under family ✅ check! So, nothing to add to my cart but the G-Wagon so far and my heart continues to be full.

I may not have all the zeros in my bank account as I would hope for, but I have done quite well for myself, and I still have my sanity—that is a big fat ✅ check! So, what is it that most of us look for? Why is it that most think they have missed out on? What are you hoping to find in those finance magazines? An even better question to ask is: “What will you do when you accumulate all the zeros in your bank account?” Do not get me wrong there is nothing wrong in going after financial abundance, heck it is wonderful to attain financial freedom but who do you hope to become? Do you love who you are now? Do you hope to love yourself even more? Do you hope to love more?” So, maybe you do not own a car, but you are able to get around, and maybe you have money for transit or transportation in whatever form (Hey it beats paying for gas, insurance, and maintenance.).  If you wish to join us insurance payers, don’t worry you’ll get there just set the right goals, it is never too late😊.  Maybe you are married, you are busy being mommy, caregiver, balancing a job, and you somehow forgot yourself along the way. You became mommy to everyone including your partner, what happened? Or maybe you married your sweet-heart that stole your heart all those years ago, which is great, you lost your nerve along the way and now you are 40, 50, still sitting in that cubicle—not the expectation you had for yourself, huh? What happened? You both forgot to continue to dream, to re-draft your goals, and map out new ones, but there is still time. There is always time to become more, to add more value to this hurting world. The universe always offers an opportunity to check-in, checking out should never be an option. Familiar is wonderful. To have a life-long partner, someone that knows all your quirks, who makes you laugh, and is there to hold your hand and catch you when you fall. Why would you give that up? Because guess what? when you finally make it—it will all be worth it in the end. The late nights, the tears, the hurts, the sacrifices, the pains, the bumpy roads, all shared together as family—the value of family is priceless! Marriage should never be about losing yourself but becoming more together, it is about finding more of ourselves.  But this is where familiar should end. To live a fulfilled life, different must be your new norm—to think greater than how you feel. You see what I mean about contradictions—you must learn to navigate through them, knowing when to apply, when to sail, when to change course. Stop being addicted to the same emotions, the same experiences because you will only continue to create the same predictable future. Do not wait for tragedy to strike before you decide to begin to make necessary changes, invite wonderful challenges, invite different, to live a joy-filled and inspired life.

So, maybe there is no reset button, but we could all benefit from a little pause, take the time to reflect, inspect our wins, our losses, our triumphs our mishaps, take the lessons learned and look forward to better tomorrows. That is what COVID did to us, it offered us a moment of ‘pause’. To take a moment to think about what you were doing right before the world stopped. What were you doing, where were you headed? What did you think was happening at you? Maybe you were in a dead-end job, hiding behind a pile of paper, never allowing yourself to realise your true potential. Maybe success got all the checks, but you were not allowing for the necessary pauses in life, to check in with yourself, to appreciate the little things, including family. As we go about our lives, we tend to tell many different versions of our stories—those we tell ourselves and those we tell or show others. These pauses in life, show us to embrace all the imperfections in our lives, perfectly woven in our stories that only serve to add more value to our experiences here in this lifetime—to be more than you were. Our losses, our challenges, perfectly placed, divinely timed, to offer us strength, light after dark. Learning to love ‘the you’, after darkness, after challenges, after brokenness. We only gain the gifts of trust, faith, love, humility when we experience life through our authenticity and in this authenticity, we experience life in its truest, rawest, form embracing its imperfections never questioning it. When we learn to live our authentic lives, we experience exponential growth, a growth that only comes from trusting the flow. You stop resisting life, resisting change, taking on the challenges as badges of honor to be worn, unveiling a better version of yourself—one of more value, always.

You get one life, live it fully and completely! We have choices in life, learn to lead with your heart and fill yourself with beauty, love, peace, kindness. Your soul has the map to your destiny it will only reflect to you what you put into it. What was meant for you will always be there until you are ready to tap into it—opportunities will never pass you by. When you look for wonderful things, you will only find more of them. Your inner world must be filled with what you want to see in the world. Learn to let go of the chaos that surrounds you and go within. Learn to let go of illusions placed there by your material mind, by ego, and learn to listen to your heart. Do not go chasing success or a version of success because you feel that is what you should do or because society says so or because of a false perception says it’s the way. Breathe, dig deep connect with your heart and do what you love, success is a by-product of that love, of that force. When I have a pressing question and don’t know which way to go, I will close my eyes, and listen to my heart. I will ask the question and feel what is right for me. If feelings of frustration, anger, feelings of being overwhelmed come forth, then I know that it is not for me. If faced with a new experience and feelings of peace, joy, butterflies, fire in my belly, excitement overtakes me—then it is right. Life gives you plenty of opportunities to re-invent yourself, pivot, and live your best life in the truest form. Live it for you, not for everyone else. Life has taught me that I must like my own company, I like to sleep with the person that I am, no matter who sleeps beside me. I laugh, I love, I give more of myself, always.

Maybe now is the time, you take that leap of faith into that relationship you longed for, or that career opportunity you thought you were not good enough for, maybe today is the day you learn to look past your selfish needs and go after your true desires, that dream that keeps you up at night, learn to let go of needing things into your life and place your focus on your wants, dreams, desires that fill your heart and soul! You see, it is never about a do-over, it is about seizing moments. There is no right or wrong, if it was meant for you and you dreamed it, it is never too late—your dream life is simply waiting for you so step into it! So maybe you did not get to publish your first book at the age of 20 or even 30, perhaps 50 or 60 is more of what the universe had in mind for you. Ronald Reagan best said it in his quote: “There are no constraints on the human mind, no walls around the human spirit, no barriers to our progress except those we ourselves erect.”  Stop spending your days chasing your moments, be in the moment and let your moments, your successes chase you. There is no other place to be, then here and now. Embrace it! Recognise that whatever happened in your life or is happening, needed to happen and unfold in the manner that it did. If you are not feeling joy right now, it is simply time for you to go back to drawing table and re-draft a new dream, shift your perspective, and see what the wizard has in store for you! Enjoy your freedom if you have it, read, write, dance, create! Enjoy your children, partners, pets—it’s all good😊, but the secret to a well lived life is that you enjoy whatever you have the privilege and opportunity in life to do!  Do not get lost in your head, with thoughts of “what-ifs” and “needs” or perceptions of what you think the “perfect” life is; visions placed by your inexperienced mind. You have lived a few moments since then, a few tears, a few joys—so what do you want to feel right now? How has your life experience enhanced that future joy, that future love, has it added value to your life?

In writing this blog, like many writers, you experience moments of enlightenment, that help elevate your writing with that personal touch so that your audience is so much more engaged, intrigued by your personal experiences allowing for that connectedness that I often talk about. When you begin to view the world from this perspective, connecting to person, experiences, places, it is when you learn to act from compassion and empathy, you no longer view yourself as separate. You embrace all moments as experiences necessary for your growth. On this very writing journey, I had a moment of pause, my peace was interrupted with a moment of bringing awareness to my present being. As my town began to re-open businesses that had been shut for a few months, I decided I wanted to venture out of my cave and safely allow myself for what I thought was much needed shopping time (mostly for my girls) having summer upon us it would be nice to embrace it with summer dresses and to also offer my support to the community. It turns out, the universe had something else planned, and what should have been a joyful shopping spree, turned out to be a painful afternoon of licking wounds and an inability to sit, sneeze or laugh.  I suffered a significant fall on my way, knocking the wind out of me and leaving me incapacitated for more than a week. Suffering significant bruises as my patches of honor, on my upper thigh, contusions to my ribs and my entire upper left side including lungs were inflamed and unbearable to touch. Oh yeah, it was pretty bad; a senseless fall, its ramifications begging for my attention.  This was my pause; this was my moment to learn to sit still and allow others for once take care of me—something I seldom accept. To put myself higher on my list of priorities.

Canada is said to have two climates when driving, the challenges of winter driving and construction season☹. Summer is here and construction begins. I may start on one road, but ten minutes in, be told, you must detour. So, I pack a lot of patience, water, and wonderful music to enjoy my unplanned excursions. As I drive along, I notice some beautiful homes I never seen before, maybe some parks and wonderful people walking their pets—a wonderful site. Once you learn to relax and become ONE with life, the unraveling will stop and you will soon realise that all the hiccups, the missteps, the aches, the tears were necessary to bring value, to make you more valuable—a sacred loving nurturing gem, to appreciate moments that much more. You see, it is never about what you think you missed out on, but what you found instead. Choices made by you, a path leading you to more value, more memorable moments. If you had a different vision of what you currently see in the mirror, then pivot your thoughts, change the narrative starting from within, soon your outworld will reflect at you what you wish to see in your physical world. Once you stop the illusion of denial, lacks and limitations—stories told by you, and put on the lens that shows you that wisdom comes at a high price but leaves you empowered ready to take on life with clarity and acceptance, living in joy. If you keep looking down at that half-empty glass, you will miss out what the universe is revealing to you now! Let go of your struggle, stop living in the past and immerse yourself in this experience, be opened to receiving what is yours—you just need faith and trust in the flow!

So where does that leave my cart? Let’s just say the G-Wagon will be on my wish-list under want category and “fun I deserve” in the not-too-distant future because why not? In life, once you have done all the hard work, recognising time is the most precious gift, you allow yourself the gifts of truths, humbleness and yes, you allow your wants to become your needs because you deserve it! I don’t really need a G-Wagon but it will be a fun replacement for my past Toyota and Mazda moments and experiences. They certainly served their purpose, offering space for diapers, baby furniture and endless toys, and yes, babies, they were the smart economic decisions made by two very naïve unsuspecting parents. They housed, the joys, the tears, the “for sures” and bumps and bruises along the way, the “I’m all in” moments. This new dream—I will keep under ‘fun’, exciting, beautifully disguised and dynamic—one of value in my journey of self discovery, a decision made by a very present me.

So, it is not about a do-over or a reset in life, it is about making choices and liking the choices you make because you have to live with it. Never fall for the: “You get one chance in life so make it right”, no, you get one life—live it with all the rights, wrongs, messiness, imperfections and successes—embrace it all! Life is a chaos and amid that chaos and all the randomness; it never fails to surprise you; an unexpected event occurs thrusting you forward, leaving you breathless, just be sure to be present every step of the way—the key is having no regrets. Sometimes life will slow down just enough and remind us we are all connected fate always working its magic letting you know you grew into the individual you were always meant to be. Every morning is the start of a new day, your opportunity for a do-over, to start anew to add more value than the day before. You deserve to live a brilliant abundant life! Go live it! Invite uncondition love into your life, into your world, it will never disapoint!

Remember to stay humble and offer kindness,  elevate everyone in your life, and those you have the opportunity to meet today. Offer much love to yourself, family and friends, give love and more love always, including your loyal and faithful pets!

Until our next visit together, stay kind and true to yourself.

To the beautiful, powerful you,

P.S. If you enjoyed this post, I would be incredibly grateful if you would help it spread by forwarding it to a friend or sharing it on Twitter or LinkedIn. I am now on IG, come join me there @anaspanowriter! Thank you!

Life does not give you a round table.

“Our story may have any number of endings, but its start is a singular choice we make today,”—Faisal Khosa

We are family buffs in my family, we enjoy all genre, but what we most enjoy is discussing the films afterwards. If there is a behind-the-scenes available, of the movie we just watched, we will watch the making of the masterpiece with an even greater sense of excitement, to get an in-depth understanding of the different elements at play; physical work, stunts, art, co-ordination and watch it all come together. Recently there are segments referred to as ‘The Round Table’ and these are discussions that involve the heart of the project, the inspiration, the source—the vision. Actor, camera man, director, script writer all gather around and have these in-depth discussions, an opportunity to offer the many perspectives, each sharing their vision of how they visualized a scene unfold, more importantly how that vision, that inspiration, affected a particular scene, impacting the overall effect of the movie. Wouldn’t it be wonderful to get a ‘round table’ moment an opportunity to meet with all your teachers in life? to discuss what was it that inspired you or did not?

Hello my beautiful souls! Welcome back! I hope you have been keeping safe and healthy and I thank you for doing your part in ensuring that everyone is safe in your respective communities including your loved ones. So how about this topic? To have a ‘round table’ opportunity to discuss events, emotions, experiences, life lessons and how each affected you? If you have read my previous posts, you are already familiar with my perspective: that we are all spiritual beings having a physical experience. It is a wonderful way of viewing life this way, to know that we are all here for a purpose and that is to experience everything, and through that experience we can only experience growth; our journeys are many—our path one and that is: a path for love, peace, joy. Along the way, we must experience darkness, trials, hardships, hard work to ultimately realize our purpose. We eventually get there don’t we? We just need to believe in ourselves, in our higher purpose, go with the flow, act, accept, allow the flow and one day we have our ‘aha’ moment and we begin to see life under a different light: a life of favor and victory. We are the directors of our lives, we must visualize what we want to see materialize in our world, everyone around you, you have attracted by your triumphs or fears—you choose how you wish to see these teachers play out in your respective scripts—your life. If you are learning then you are on the right path, you are accepting life’s challenges as learning curves, setbacks as pauses in life that need to happen to get you ready for your next triumph.

As I write this blog I am reminded (well my daughter reminded me, but I would have eventually gotten there 😊) of a a wonderful heartwarming book “The Five People You Meet in Heaven” authored by Mitch Albom. I read this book so many years ago—its message, timeless. It is a story of a war veteran suffering his own demons, working at an amusement park caught in the trappings of his limited thinking. Once filled with optimism, he finds himself living his later years filled with nothing but loneliness and regret. In an attempt at saving a little girl from a falling cart, Eddie, suffers a fatal accident and is sent to heaven where he meets five people that had a significant impact in his life, giving him the opportunity of understanding the lessons learned along the way, lessons he was not able to see at the time due to the veil of his physical lens. Lessons of love, connectedness, forgiveness, loyalty, the precious gift of time. If such an opportunity arose, I for one, would not want to wait until my passing to speak to my teachers. What if we were given that opportunity at some point in our lives to meet the characters in our stories? to get in their headspace and listen to them share their perspectives as to why they said or did the things they did and in turn we also had the opportunity to express our reactions, effects, and impact, their actions had in our lives. What a wonderful way to process life, would you not agree? to have a moment in your life where you would invite these healthy discussions and see them as observer, recipient, and the one doing the action—breaking the third and fourth wall as you watch the replay of the scenes in your epic life unfold. To observe and be observed, to act and react and speak while the act is being done—to get a sense of why certain events unfolded the way they did. What a different world it would be?

“Dialogue is used to reveal not what we want to say, but what we are trying to hide.”—William Monahan

Life is meant to be lived, it is a gift, an absolute privilege. We are here to experience, good, bad, dark, light. The secret to living a purposeful life is to experience it all, allowing and accepting change, the flow, never resisting. All too often we spend our days, waiting for that opportunity, that sign, a wide-open path—if only, then I will know, then I will do, then I will _________. We meet many of our teachers along the way, in our journeys, some lessons we get, most we dismiss as moments lost—heartaches, unconquered challenges—failures. We reach forty, maybe even fifty and the universe says: “It is time my child to sit with your teachers to see just how many lessons you resolved and how many were missed due to your limited thinking.” Imagine, to be able to sit at a round table and have full open discussions and look at the reel of your own life play out in front of you as you watch yourself repeating the same error multiple times. In that case, it would be multiple teachers showing up in your life, teaching you the same lesson in many variations—how slow are you? Did you not get it? These were errors essential for growth, but you resisted and the unpleasantness of the lesson continued showing up in your world over and over because you got hung up on making the error, or you could not forgive, or you simply did not know how to shift your perspectives and rather than moving on and growing from it, you allowed it to manifest in your life many times over—always wondering: “why me?”—a director’s nightmare. If something continues to show up in your life, do not dismiss it and feel it is something you must learn to live with because it is forever your misfortune, have an honest conversation with yourself, learn to develop that personal dialogue, and truly answer why certain people or situations continue to show up in your world, especially if they are unpleasant ones—do not just accept it as a permanent in your life. You always have a choice to move on. We all have a choice of how grand or how small our lives will be, keep the flow going.

An elementary school teacher, a musician and a CEO sit at your round table. This sounds like the line from a bad joke, but it happens to be individuals in your life perhaps that had some significance; an impact, that forever altered your life’s path. What do you say? How does that conversation start? What questions are pressing? What is the reaction you hope to have? Here are three individuals holding the key to some answers to your life. There are many perspectives at play here, yet you are only looking for one answer—the key that unlocks the path to your vision of success, that may include: love; a vision for favor in your life. When I watch movie film experts at a round table event, they seem all inspiring, there is so much wisdom to gain, everyone has a role to play, all drawing from an inspired vision—like a flock of birds, they all feed of each other, one seed at a time. That seed; an inspiration, that sparks another creation eventually leading to a masterpiece. There is much excitement in that room, their eyes dance as they share their part in this gem of a film, no matter how grand or miniscule their role, but how impactful that interaction was—and in that moment, a moment of connectedness, everything is meaningful, every spoken word, every action or non-action all have part to play to give life to this perfection—a block buster success! It is wonderful how they learn to trust the flow, trust the eye of the director, collectively a genius unfolds, and everyone simply allows the project to go where it needs to go. Will you be smiling at your round table? Do you allow events to flow through you or do you resist? Are you following your heart? The answer to these questions should be an emphatic: “Yes!”

The beauty of being a human is that we have ‘free will’. We have choices, in life, we participate in those choices every minute of our existence. We have a choice on how we choose to react to the circumstances triggered by people we love, or those we tell ourselves we dislike; people like the grade schoolteachers, the musicians, and CEOs in our lives. Now, if we can break the third wall as we go about our life stories and observe every perspective not just our own but from those, we have the pleasure of interacting on a daily basis and learn to understand why they chose to express themselves a certain way, or why they treated you a certain way, or why they were simply non-existent in your life when you thought they should have had a more significant role—now that is some magic waiting to happen. To witness these actions as they happen and making conscious choices is quite empowering.  Such enlightenment, or from a spiritual perspective—such an awakening, could simplify your life for the remainder you have here on earth. By remembering to accept, people, circumstances, events, situations as they occur, you are stating that: “This moment is as it should be, because the whole universe is as it should be.” By remembering that our teachers show up in our lives when they need to, and if we are frustrated by a situation, remember that you are not reacting to that person or situation but to your feelings about that person or situation. It is never about the other person; it is about what you are meant to learn. Learning to hold yourself accountable for how you feel or how you allowed yourself to feel in a particular situation and then shifting your perspective so that blame is never on the teacher or even yourself, but the lesson that needed to be learned is a fascinating way to view life—an opportunity for the creation of a well lived life! A director’s cut to re-do a scene, may be your pause in life—an opportunity, for forgiveness, forgive yourself for allowing yourself to feel whatever emotion does not resonate with you, and move on. Next…Action!

Do not wait until you are on your deathbed to realize the meaning of life—to realize you were living on purpose all along. Live life deliberately, full of love, joy filled, completely. Learn to view life for what it is: a path of self-discovery, personal growth, we are forever a “student of life.”—forever changing. If you are not learning, you are not growing. As Leonardo DiCaprio says, “Every next level of your life will demand a different you.” Live success by following the deepest desires of your heart. Your teachers are simply there to illuminate your path, it will not always be good, but it is a path nonetheless; all you must do is participate and the universe has a way of rewarding you. Stop spending your days chasing your moments, be in the moment—take it all in. You are the creator of your own script, stop blaming missed opportunities on those who you perceive wronged you; failed you—no one owes you anything—learn from everything. You are here to create your own masterpiece, you are the director of your own life experience—start taking more risks, accept challenges as growth, stare fear in the eye and walk the path of least resistance. Commit to following your own path, no judgement, just experiencing the flow of life with ease. Remove the need of blaming others for your misfortune, placing judgment only heightens emotions of fear and anxiety, as you set your intentions out into the universe you awaken, you wait for a season of favor, thus manifesting your heart’s true desires.

So, life does not give you a round table, but it is wonderful knowing that we all have free will—that life is a privilege and it best lived when we choose love over the course of our lifetime. Why choose to stay in darkness? If you are the director of your own life, how will that conversation in your minds eye unfold? How do we get behind the eyeballs of our teachers? That is the beauty of life—it is in the not knowing. We participate, always acting, growing with challenges. Even if you do not have a dream yet, or perhaps unsure of what it is you want to do or should be doing, the only thing you must be sure to know is how you want to feel living your days here on this beautiful planet and that is all life requires you to do—that is it! Do we want to feel love? Peace? Joy? Kindness? That is the only round table conversation you get in life, the healthy dialogue you engage with yourself right before you step out into the world each day. If you are brave enough and wish to engage in physical conversations with your teachers in life—then all the power to you! You might be disappointed however, keep in mind that the characters we meet, are following their own path, (remember they are also on their own journeys) if their vibration does not resonate with yours—they simply will have no business staying there for long—they are simply there to fulfill a purpose however small or big. A moment of connectedness, karmic, serendipitous, perhaps but a moment. They move on, and you continue your path…cut! Next! Lesson learned! I feel the best personal dialogues are through journaling. You create, you write, you feel, you erase, you forgive!

My wish for you is that you be fully present in the excitement of creativity. Many of us go through our days without a sense of purpose—there is no excitement when nothing is fueled by passion, intention, or inspiration. Happiness is the key to success not the other way around. If you are still finding your footing in this vast world or where you fit in, in your own script; draft your screenplay, make all sorts of notes of how you wish this masterpiece to unfold. What is the legacy you hope to leave behind? How do you wish to show up in the world? What value do you hold for yourself and what value do you wish to add to the world? Because you see, a properly executed ending gives you that graceful exit. It is recognizing all relationships in life, learning to let go when they no longer serve you; never denying its validity or past importance in our lives. So, dream, dreams never seem to have bad endings. I will end this message with a beautiful quote by Napoleon Hill, “Cherish your visions and your dreams as they are the children of your soul, the blueprints of your ultimate achievements.” Not to sound contradicting, but life is a series of contradictions is it not? I must add this: never live your life with an ending in site but live a life of ‘continuing’. Until you write the last page on your script, you will never know the ending so continue to grow always, add more value always, your life is worth writing and worth living!

You deserve to live a brilliant abundant life! Remember to offer love and elevate everyone in your life, and those you have the opportunity to meet today. Remember to lead with humility, love yourself immensely, enjoying the pleasures of the world with an open heart! Offer much love to your family and friends, give love and more love always, including your loyal and faithful pets!

Until our next visit together, stay kind and true to yourself.

To the beautiful, powerful you,

P.S. If you enjoyed this post, I would be incredibly grateful if you would help it spread by forwarding it to a friend or sharing it on Twitter or LinkedIn. I am now on IG, come join me there @anaspanowriter! Thank you!

My Wish…

“The Most fantastic magical things can happen, and it all starts with a wish.”—Pinocchio

I love words just as much as I love wishes. Words have energy and power, they can heal or hinder, we have the choice to use them for encouragement or despair. They can humble us and offer strength in moments when we are most vulnerable. “…Your dreams stay big, your worries stay small…You never need to carry more than you can hold…” These are the beautiful lyrics of a song by Rascal Flatts in a song simply titled: “My Wish”. This entire song holds such beautiful meaning that goes beyond lyrics and a pleasant melody, and if you have not had the pleasure of listening to this gift of a song, I urge you to do so as soon as you have the opportunity. This beautiful song encapsulates the simple wish of love to those we hold dear to our heart. This is the song I dedicated to my beautiful sister-in-law a few months before her passing, it is a song I will always hold dear to my heart and I cannot not think about her and picture her beautiful smile when I hear it. I even found it in one of those musical cards just a few months after her passing (not by coincidence), I am most certain my sister-in-law meant for me to find it, to let me know she was nearby. There is something so comforting knowing that our loved ones who have passed on are always around holding our hand when we need it. This is the gift of faith, to believe in something grander, to engage with Spirit, our ultimate Source, divinely guiding us in some way, helping us regain our awareness of why we exist, what our purpose here on earth is. An awareness that shifts your perspective from blaming your circumstances and blaming others, to holding yourself accountable for your experiences learning to embrace whatever shows up in your life as part of this master plan, this perfection that is you, that is your life, a life you created.

Hello beautiful souls, I wanted to end off the year with one last message before we embark on a new year, one of hope and much promise. This past year has been a hell of a roller coaster to say the least! One that has left us feeling many emotions, unfortunately that might include painful losses for some of us, but here’s the thing about a ‘New Year’, it’s that we get to say good-bye to the past and welcome a brand New Year full of hope, one that includes many more happy moments, and I am here to ensure that cheer carries through to keep your spirit alive and help you see that all that pain you suffered resulting from the disaster that was ‘2020, will only serve to have you appreciate the smallest of joys (that are sure to come your way), that much more.

“A day without laugher is a day wasted.”—Charlie Chaplin

My wish for you is that you laugh more often. There is nothing more beautiful than the sound of a child’s laughter, do you not agree? I absolutely love when I hear my girls laugh out loud as they watch their favorite movie or show or laugh at something they shared. I could be anywhere at home and when I hear that laughter, it is the most beautiful music to my ears, it is so contagious, and I feel my heart stop for a little while just enjoying their good cheer. My girls are now 23 and 19, I will never tire of hearing their sweet laughter. So, my plea here is: no matter what is going on in your life right now, promise yourself to make it a point to laugh—I am sure anyone nearby will certainly appreciate that contagious good vibe. Laughter is so good for the soul!

When you surround yourself with things you love, your life will mirror it.

Surround yourself with beauty. Surround yourself with people and things that inspire you. Look around, there are so many beautiful things to love and appreciate in this world, in your world—the one you create, sometimes you might need to look a little harder, but it is there, I promise. My wish is that you lift your head, look up and see the beauty that currently surrounds you. As I was carefully venturing out in my neighbourhood, buying my groceries during the holidays, I noticed such beautiful flower arrangements, Christmas poinsettia, roses (I bought for a friend), just a lot of beautiful colour; an attempt by our neighbourhood business owners, to put a smile on our faces, if only for a moment allowing us to forget our sorrows. I noticed these beautiful colours and gave my praise of gratitude for my eyes to see. For some, maybe you were recently blessed with the good fortune of seeing the beauty found in the face of a new-born child—oh how sweet it is to look into the eyes and faces of a new-born, and let’s add smells to this as well, a new-born’s scent is so sweet. Perhaps you witnessed a rainbow in your part of the world or the beautiful light snow fall; one that I was so fortunate to witness at midnight on Christmas Eve, while driving around with my youngest just for the heck of it. There is much beauty that surrounds us, we need to learn to celebrate it and be grateful.

Life has a way of coming full circle, every feeling, every emotion, every thought, every spoken word, returns to its intended recipient—you. It is a boomerang ready to be returned to you with astounding accuracy—so give it a lot of love, joy, happiness, hugs, smiles, comfort, support, empathy, compassion, kindness, patience, give life all that is good, and the Universe will do its part in returning it to you many fold! It is my wish that you receive more love, more happiness, more joy…more of all that is beautiful. You see, you only get one life—make it good. Life is not a sprint, take it all in, the good and the bad—sometimes the best things in life take a while, have faith, watch it unfold without judgment, it will not disappoint. Trust that there is plenty of good still in this world, to offer kindness and compassion to a stranger and of course to your loved ones. My wish is that everyone learn the power and the gift that is: ‘forgiveness’ in this lifetime. I believe that when we have ‘unforgiving’ energy it manifests outward in some way into our physical world. When we learn to forgive, we allow the healing to begin, our soul begins the healing on an external level and we begin to witness the many little miracles that surround us, making room for new beginnings. My wish is that you find the gift of forgiveness in your lives, and in your hearts, and make room for passion, faith, hope, inspiration, love; feel the warmth, that is hope—gain a greater sense of freedom. It is in forgiving that we find strength and courage. Do not live, in regret, resentment or fear, instead invite peace, love, joy, let go of selfish demands of ego and look for the good in everything and everyone. I look at the behaviours of others that do not resonate with my wish for peace and I send them love. My experiences have taught me that I cannot get angry enough to end any war on violence, discrimination, social issues, that I cannot feel enough pain and sorrow for all the hurts in the world (it certainly will not offer healing) so I choose to stay in-Spirit because my heart tells me that where I place my attention, my intention will set me on a path of possibilities and openness to a life of miracles! And although it feels we have been at a standstill, I know this is temporary and a better tomorrow awaits, one filled with hope and prosperity and much peace. This is my wish for you.

May you dream yourself a life where you work hard and allow yourself to play even harder, that you do meaningful work, work that gives you joy and gives you purpose. Say yes, often, giggle a lot, sing to your heart’s content (preferably in the shower 😊), keep the sparkle in your eyes, encourage silly, run barefoot on the grass or in the rain (I have done this with my sister!), lie down and watch the clouds or the stars, whichever—they are both equally fascinating. Simply be. Life is meant to be lived, to feel, to be, to experience. Give yourself permission to dream big, love deeply, cry if you must and have the confidence to carry you through—have faith always. My wish is that you live an inspired life, a life of clarity, a passion filled life, surrounded by much kindness and compassion. Nurture the child in you, find people to love unconditionally, may you find friends who make you better, and may love, peace, joy and kindness always find its way into your heart, it’s the ultimate truth, it is your truth, love is what makes all things possible, never underestimate its power. You are here to inspire or be inspired…which do you choose?

This is me on my comfy couch reading a book, enjoying my fireplace

We were all sentenced to one year at home without access to our friends and loved ones for some of us. Hopefully, many of you used that time to reflect, to find time to figure out what makes you—you, what is your story, what makes you shine? For me, it is just this, to spread love through my writing, my words, to speak love and kindness to all those I meet, to those I share space with. Hopefully, you will have spent quality time with those currently in your living space and have learned a lot from one another, building solid and beautiful foundations that will help you when you go off into the world understanding that every word, every touch, every thought has an effect, it impacts all those around you as we are all connected. I know when the world once again opens up, I will make it a point to hug everyone that much tighter, smile even more than ever, laugh at everything, spread love, compassion and kindness at every opportunity. I will say good-bye to my comfy couch that has been my friend and support for seven months (oh who am I kidding, I love my couch!😊) and run the streets with open arms, dance as I did whenever I heard music in a store (if you know me you know this is true for me). I urge you to dance like nobody’s watching—it is so liberating. It is how I spent most of my high school years while roaming the school hallways or in the cafeteria (man, the 80s were fun!😊). It will be the day you get to go and make up time for precious moments lost and spend it with your loved ones, except this time around you will enjoy it that much more, you will love that much deeper. I hope that this is everyone’s plan, I hope that this is a wish we all share for this new world we are about to embark. This New Year’s Eve, it is my hope and faith, that everyone will join in and share their wish for a kinder world, one filled with optimism, confidence, courage, that your days be described with words like: exhilarating, enthusiastic, breathtaking, exciting, hope, humanity and selflessness. Whatever your journey, wherever life takes you or throws at you, know we are all connected, every experience leading us to one path and that is love. My wish is that you live an inspired life (in-Spirit) otherwise you are just living. And in this inspiration, you are awakened, you see things with clarity; with your spiritual lens now intact, you notice the world has forever changed bringing growth, placing you on a path of your heart’s truest desires, compassion and kindness as your guides holding the key to successfully manifesting your dreams. The meaning of life is to have faith, to believe you deserve life’s best gifts, to hope for better tomorrows but enjoy the gifts of today in whatever form simply to love that much more, to laugh that much louder, to have that much more compassion and empathy.

As we enter this new world, our perspectives must shift. Our old ways of thinking and doing things no longer serve us. This new world no longer has room for hate and judgment, instead it is one filled with optimism—which is key to overcoming all obstacles, overcoming anything, but that we do it together. Let us not look at the past, except to learn from our mistakes and to mourn for those we have lost, together let us wish for a beautiful today, one filled with humility, laughter, acceptance, forgiveness, gratitude, compassion, generosity, love, joy, humanity and kindness always. Let us pray for some healing, we are all in need of it. Each of us have the power to choose our thoughts align them with love, peace, harmony and good will. Together, we can create our present and future moments at the highest possible level, your heart is the center—allow yourself to feel peace and harmony. Rejoice, celebrate, be grateful, let the power of a smile melt your heart and influence happiness that has not been around for quite some time. Gratitude connects us all—it is the medicine our world needs today. This is my wish for you.

I would like to a share a prayer with you, a prayer that made its way into my life a few years back and it is a prayer I say every morning or at least once a day. Reminding me that every day is a gift, a gift I get to share with loved ones, another day I get to impact someone’s life in the most positive way. I will share with you a part of this prayer for the sake of this blog, you are welcome to search up the entire prayer online. Its origin is of no importance, there are many versions, many stories of its authentic author, but that’s not the take away here, the message beautifully reflects a message of peace. I ask that you adapt the prayer, more importantly its message, into your life, you may change the language so that it resonates with you and your beliefs, your practices, but its modest message should remain as it is a message of peace, hope and love, one that should be the same in any language, in any corner of the world. Thank you for allowing me to share this message. With great love and respect:

So, my sweet souls say good-bye to what no longer serves you…let it go and make room for exciting new things to come, new hopes, new resolutions, new spirits. Wishing you optimal health always, and may the New Year bring us all much peace, joy, abundance and loads and loads of happiness. January 1st, is the start of a New Year, it is the day you get to write yourself a new chapter in your life—make it remarkable!

Remember to offer love to everyone, and during these holidays especially, be extra kind to all those you meet. Offer much love to your families (everyone is extra hurting this year), give love and more love always, including your loyal and faithful pets!

Until our next visit together, stay kind and true to yourself.

To the beautiful powerful you,

Ana Spano

P.S. If you enjoyed this post, I would be very grateful if you would help it spread by emailing it to a friend or sharing it on Twitter or LinkedIn. Thank you!