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Be still and know that you are that which you desire to be, and you will never have to search for it.—Neville Goddard
I hope last month’s blog helped brighten up your life a little more after a season of darkness. As we approach the winter months ahead we can’t help but feel a little anxious not knowing what the sunless months (the wintery stormy days) will bring but perhaps grey solemn skies to match our moods unless you are a winter lover that is. Christmas is around the corner and that should help shift our mood, but oh yeah we are in a pandemic—so life looks a bit bleak☹. This period of uncertainty has placed us all on a roller coaster of emotions; we feel sad and angry for our losses, fear and anxious brought on by doubt not knowing what our future holds. All expectations of how we thought our immediate future would look like; a glimpse of our success, have gone out the window, we have been robbed of what we thought was our certainty, this along with our hopes and dreams—fear in its place. To this I say: cancel all expectation this year—it was not doing us any good any way. Expectations only cultivate feelings of fear, doubt, sadness, anger—all the un-wants in our lives. Instead, we should work on replacing our expectations with feelings of confidence, compassion, empathy all born from being in a constant state of joy; a joy derived from a consciousness of love. Maybe we should be intending our ‘tomorrows’ (taking action today) and allowing the flow of how that tomorrow should feel and look like rather than expecting things to be grand and then life has a way of disappointing. When we intend things (experiences into our lives), all doubt is banished—we trust. In this trust, in this flow, we have the power to manifest the beautiful life we all deserve!
Hello beautiful souls! May your mind(s) be filled with beautiful thoughts (hopefully quietness) and your heart(s) with nothing but love and joy. Where there is love fear cannot exist. Isn’t it wonderful knowing that when you choose to feel love you will live in the absence of fear? Is it that simple you ask? Yes, you just need to commit to love. It is the difference in choosing to feel secure, confident, you start feeling enthusiastic about life, about your next move. So, what will you choose? Will you choose to feel fear in your life followed by all other negatives that sadly include manifesting illness? Perhaps you will consider choosing joy and receive your daily dose of friendly neurotransmitters such as dopamine and serotonin? Lately, I have noticed a lot of talk of neurotransmitters; chemical messengers and receptors—fancy science terms that help us understand what is happening inside us, particularly what keeps our brain functioning and a variety of psychological functions monitoring levels of fear, mood, pleasure and joy. Neuroscientists have done the lovely work for us and have shared their scientific perspectives on the chemistry affecting our biology that trigger happiness. These neurotransmitters have a wide variety of functions in the human body. Either way both require work (unless you set it as your default emotion, in which case good for you) I cannot help but wonder however, why it is that choosing to feel ‘joy’ requires work and for some a lot more than others. As I do my research on the positive impact of joy in my life I discover that serotonin; a chemical produced by nerve cells, is more of a free flowing neurotransmitter triggered by how others value you and the awesome feeling you experience when getting exercise or a massage—it is at times referred to as the happy chemical as it contributes to wellbeing and happiness. Healthy levels of Serotonin regulate anxiety, happiness and mood. Another famous neurotransmitter I read about that our body also produces is Dopamine and it offers us that ‘feel good’ and happy feeling released as part of a reward system (reaching that goal), upon achieving an objective—often flooding your body with high energy that leads to happiness, even shopping help raise levels of this ‘good feel’ miracle transmitter or sex (whatever brings you joy 😊). It is what helps us to strive, motivate, focus, affecting our physical function.
There is plenty behind the science of happiness resulting in the release of these much needed neurotransmitters and the success of achieving such happiness is finding the right balance (ugh, more work☹) as too much of any one of these chemicals can have a negative impact. Well, how about choosing to be in constant joy instead! This should be easy (no science required), just choose to be in this constant state always. How do we do this? We must start by being honest with ourselves. Ask yourself how do I want to feel? What is my wish, my true desire? That authenticity will follow you everywhere you go. You might try to betray your feelings every now and again to please others, but God, the universe, your higher self, always know what is at the centre and according to the Law of Attraction in order to change your outer world you must change your inner world (your thoughts and feelings) every small action an expression creating beautiful experiences, that weave into this tapestry we call life—and so your mind, body and soul follow, thus manifesting your true desire outward. When we experience joy, love is a byproduct. Accepting ourselves as we are, offering forgiveness and compassion will leave us less vulnerable. Pain and suffering is part of life, and none of us is immune to it, we may not be able to control these negative occurrences, but we could certainly influence their effect in our life by adjusting the attitude we take toward them. Whenever someone comes up to me with a problem or concern, whether it be an illness or discouraging news, my immediate go-to pep talk is: “get out of your head.” So much of our suffering is caused by our wanting or expecting things to be different resulting in feelings of discontent, that lead to frustration and anger. When my daughter comes down the stairs after a busy morning of meetings and I see her little face full of worry, I immediately tell her: “get out of your head”, we talk, we dissect what is causing the worry and fear, we poke it, we throw it around in many directions, until it no longer scares her. I often finish our talks with: “How does this experience make you feel? How do you want to feel?” We jot down solutions, on what needs to be done or said to get back to that joyful feeling she desires—the unnecessary worrying is done with. Understand that unnecessary worrying and getting frustrated or upset is not going to give you that peace and joy you crave (if in fact this is the experience you seek in life), so why do it? If your car breaks down, well think of it as the universe protecting you from being somewhere else at that time—rejection is God’s protection. Be honest, hold yourself accountable and accept that your actions, your words, your thoughts have brought you to where you are today. I say this with great love and respect: Is the life and circumstances currently surrounding you, the life you see for yourself? If not, change it! You have the power to change your thoughts, your view, your words, your actions that will move you towards your view of the life you want, your world, your reality—observe, accept, allow, make your next move. Every experience is an opportunity. Remember to think: Everything happens For you, not To you! The truth is that your state of being creates your circumstances, and not the other way around.
Despite what is currently surrounding your life, your world, your days, you should be in constant joy—this is my wish for you. To be in a constant state of happiness may be difficult as happiness mostly depends on external factors (happens to us). Choosing joy however, is choosing to be present, it is choosing a way of life very much like choosing a ‘healthy lifestyle’ over choosing to be on a ‘diet’. A diet is a temporary fix you can opt out of anytime as it is not permanent; it is choosing not to eat certain items until you talk yourself into doing it. Choosing a healthy lifestyle on the other hand, is a commitment. It is the difference in telling yourself: “I should not eat this,” to “I will not eat it.” If joy is an attitude of the heart, it will not defy you, it is there to offer comfort during times of difficulty, continuously seizing opportunities with feelings of great accomplishment, vitality and strength no matter what life hands you. It is to be a blessing to others, looking through the eyes of a stranger and seeing that our existence (how we conduct ourselves in this world) affects others by what we give, what we do—so give love. You are the creator of your own life; simply be, focus on your desire and dreams. To be in constant joy, goes beyond cultivating a positive mindset (although it helps), it is to surround yourself with beautiful, kind people that support you, create precious moments and wonderful experiences that ultimately leave you feeling fulfilled. For me it is the tremendous sense of peace I feel every morning after meditation or a session of yoga. To be in a state of joy, is to look forward to and appreciate the little miracles. Enjoy the journey no matter what life throws at you. Your thought should never be: “when my life changes, I will then start to be happy”, be happy now, feel joy always, think happiness and your body and actions will follow—effortlessly.
Taking responsibility for your life is when you start creating the things that you desire rather than focus on the things that you fear. See yourself through the eyes of God (your Infinite Being); your Higher Self, with unconditional love and acceptance. Focus more on loving than on winning love. My experiences have taught me in order to live a fulfilled life it is more about doing for others than receiving. Do not search for joy, be joy. Do not go looking for love, be love. We are all beautiful perfect expressions and deserve all the ‘feel goods’ we choose to surround ourselves with. The value you give yourself is from within, not by the amount or lack of love placed by others. Only you know your self-worth—choose knowing you deserve, and we all deserve love and to be in constant joy. It is not about being good or bad, right or wrong—that is placing judgement, simply be joy, be love. Often, we exhaust ourselves searching for our purpose, we feel confused, not knowing if we belong—this is what brings on feelings of fear. Your purpose is to be where you are, to be love, to be kindness, to be supportive, to be joy! Titles, positions, amounts of money in our bank accounts, should not define who we are, and it most certainly should not measure our level of self-worth. The value a simple stranger gives to an unsuspecting homeless person, or to that disabled individual needing an extra hand opening the door, cannot be measured in dollars, in levels, to that individual you are a hero, you made their day a little easier, a little more enjoyable—and that is priceless! Again, I ask what experience do you seek in this lifetime?
When counseling my clients who have entered my life all broken with shattered spleens, fractured knees, hips, ribs, pelvic fractures (endless list of un-wants in their lives), I carefully with full empathy and compassion assist them with putting the pieces back; not necessarily to the way it once was, but hopefully mending that torn cloth in their world and work on creating a much richer embroidered masterpiece; stitching one piece at a time, a masterpiece cultivated by new found wisdom and a road to self-love. Pieces shattered by false expectations, unfulfilled desires due to mere wishful thinking are now replaced with a desire to be present in their lives, to hold themselves accountable, allowing themselves to experience every little moment with new found enthusiasm to be observers on their road to self-discovery; inviting an awareness in their life, offering much clarity, and many more peaceful and joyful moments. My purpose in their lives was to simply hold their hand during their season of darkness, offer kindness, empathy, compassion; to make their life a little easier while allowing them to process their setback, offering my expert legal advice and support while ensuring they never lose hope. Joy and happiness should be our constant, it is not something we earn but something we feel, it is the path to self-realization. Joy is what keeps us in a constant state of flow—moving us towards our goals, feeling every step of the way. We do not try to reach our goals with a false sense of expectation, we move, we do—motivation is sparked when we invite joy making that road to success sweeter! With joy we open ourselves up to the outer edges of the unknown we feel, see, hear, things differently and as if by magic we are healed! It is to never doubt that you are where you need to be, trusting all will turn out for the better. Joy cannot be the result of events in your life but a pure commitment in ensuring that every experience is growth, it is not dependent on thought. When we learn to view life in its wider perspective with some degree of humility and simply accept our circumstances and experiences in all its pain, imperfections and beauty—we open ourselves to a life of pure bliss, we allow ourselves to engage with life on its own terms, no judgement, no disappointments—we no longer struggle, we simply be. We experience, we allow, we live when we are in joy. I believe this is what Tibetan teachings refer to as non-duality. To take every experience without categorizing as pleasurable or difficult, good or bad but simply as an experience. Joy has the ability to take all emotions, experiences, lessons and allow us to power through; happiness and success, is not contingent on our ability to attain it but to feel good going after it, with no attachment to outcome. With joy we learn to see the blessing in everything, the joy in every sorrow—for this reason joy is fearless. We are the protagonist in our own stories, the architects of our lives and it starts with designing our inner world. With joy as your canvas and as your core support you cannot fail at life! Your life and world is yours to direct!
I cannot recall when I first became aware of the presence of joy in my life, it might have been in my early twenties, perhaps even earlier—all my life I was pretty much an observer. I just remember not allowing anything to get me down; like a child, I was resilient to the lacks, disappointments in my life; (except in my non-duality mentality I never labeled them struggles or disappointments) they were simply experiences that helped me grow. Every day I will walk out my front door or walk into an establishment with a permanent smile on my face (granted it is a little harder with masks on, but I still do it 😊), offering a kind hello to whomever is up for it. Yes, of course there are cloudy days, and yes, my heart breaks when my daughters hurt, but we experience the pains, the setbacks, we let go of the need to control our outcomes, wipe off our tears, and let it flow through us, we move on, and accept these experience as necessary for growth. Like an old friend we bid it farewell, thank it for the experience and move on. I teach my girls there is no need to resist, no need to judge, no need to hold onto what no longer serves us. With joy at our core, we conquer all obstacles and untap the reservoir to our unlimited potential!
The season is here to be joyous! What is it about Christmas that offers hope transforming our attitudes instantly if only for a little while. It is silent, it is Spirit; we do not see it, but we certainly feel the magic of Christmas and its beautiful form no matter where we are in the world. We choose to believe in the magic of Christmas that comes around once a year offering hope, cheer and joy, simply to make us feel good if only for one day or two (for a season). It is that tenderness and warmth, courage, love cheer and hope that I wish for you; a warmth only achievable when you commit to joy, not for one season but for always. Pure joy is looking through the eyes of a child at Christmas time, with all the wonderment, excitement and innocence. My beautiful souls I am here to tell you that you have the ability to bask in that magical innocence, when you choose joy, it lives inside you, always. 2020 has been a whirlwind of emotions, and hopefully for most of us; not about alot of losses, but certainly a time for reflection. For those of you having suffered significant losses, my heart goes out to you and I extend the warmest of hugs and my deepest sympathies. But Christmas is a time to be joyous that is every child’s number one rule (or at least it should be), so hug your loved ones and be merry regardless of your surroundings. Like a toddler, run around and feel all emotions at once, wipe off your tears, feel your hurts, your pains, then laugh it out, after-all we are spiritual beings having human experiences, it is inevitable, so if you need to cry…cry, but also be joyous! Hopefully some happiness will seep in your life somehow…and it will. That is the beauty of joy, it shares the space with all emotions, so if you need to be angry…be angry, grief, be sad, but remember to be true to your core and that is to feel Joy always, be Love always. Joy reveals what we need, what we feel, what we want. When we choose to commit to joy based on love and good intentions, the Universe has a way of rearranging itself so that everything will work out fine.
You are a beautiful work in progress. You have everything you need to cultivate an extraordinary life; a life you so, deserve, so let’s focus and start building those foundations. Let’s recap what we need to start allowing Joy in our lives:
- 1) Decide to feel Joy always. Once you commit, happiness will soon follow. Feel it! And just like that fear is gone!
- 2) Get out of your head. Eliminate unnecessary worry. Let go of the little things. Rejection is God’s protection!
- 3) Be present. Only this moment counts. How do you wish to feel now? Let the actions you take today ripple into your future. Create that dream, that desire, now. Own it as if you already have it and it will appear in your material world as if by magic!
- 4) Be in constant state of allowing. You get to start again. Forgive always, let go, and move on. Closing your heart is not the answer, you have the power to heal all wounds, all illness let go of what no longer serves you, learn from it and bless it out of your life. You may not understand how a certain situation will benefit you at this moment but have faith and trust—all will be well!
Life is gorgeous, learn to embrace it, live it, allow it to flow through you with a sense of urgency—feel that love. A quiet mind, a heart fulfilled—it does not get better than this, be in peaceful harmony with Spirit, your Higher Self. Do not look to the outer world to provide certainty, allow yourself to be free from the shackles of your goals, your lists, your expectations. Be the observer, follow your heart, feel the joy of love here and now—you deserve it!
Remember to offer love to everyone, and for this Christmas be extra kind to all those you meet. Offer much love to your families everyone is extra hurting this year, give love and more love always including your loyal and faithful pets!
Until our next visit together, stay kind and true to yourself.
Let the magical wonders of Christmas fill your hearts with excitement and joy, always remembering to share it with your loved ones and everyone around you!
To the powerful you,